Nonsense

I’m Thankful For The Facebook Timeline Feature Because Now I Can Relive My Glory Days With The Click Of A Button.

Everyone!  Let’s give a round of applause for technology and the permanent trail of embarrassment that is the internet!

Just when you think you’ve escaped the metaphorical black hole that was your life in middle and high school, Facebook is here with the Timeline Activity feature that allows you to click a year and see just what you wrote during that specific time period.  Let’s bring back those cringeworthy flirt posts, relive that awkward drunk message you wrote to that kid you don’t even know, and by all means, take a loosky at that time you thought it was a good idea to wear plaid pants and high top sneakers.

I like to put my life on display.  Mostly because I think that if I admit to myself and the world how much of an embarassment to society I was between the ages of my entire life 12-22, maybe I can help others not make the same mistakes.

So, today I am thankful for Facebook.  I am so excited that I get a permanent reminder of how much of a jackass I was when I was sixteen and constantly get to see my blatant disregard for proper capitalization and grammar.  I guess hindsight is twenty/twenty.

Here are some highlights from my Facebook past:

0

Zo zerious, in fact, that I couldn’t even use an ‘S’

1

Halfway convinced that my mother actually wrote this status instead of me.  But then I remember that she can barely work Microsoft Word in 2014, so there’s no way she could have hacked into my Facebook account back in 2006.

2

I never got a humpback whale. WHERE IS MY HUMPBACK WHALE.

3

#FutureEnglishMajor #FutureTeacher

4

Well, there you have it folks, you can finally tell people you know someone who has risen from the dead. I’m pretty sure it sucked when I was dead, but I can assure you, being alive is way more fun.

5

So, I’m not half asian. Not even in the slightest bit. So I don’t think I can regret it, but clearly it was something I felt strongly about this night.

6

Honestly, this is a personal problem and I’m getting it checked out.  I didn’t realize I was so willy nilly about exposing personal struggles via such a public forum, but I guess a lot was going on in life in 2008.

7

Like I said, clearly a lot was going on in my life where I wasn’t concerned about being implicated for the murder of my professor.  Like how shitty of a criminal am I?

Sidenote: I didn’t actually murder my professor, but he’s definitely not here to talk about it anymore.

8

This is a brilliant idea and I don’t know why I haven’t rethought of this.  Probably because I came to the conclusion that bathtubs are generally riddled with the remnants of dirty people, therefor, I realized I was washing my clothes in liquid human filth. #graphic #visuals

9

This is what I was concerned about when I studied abroad.  This is also why I gained twenty-five pounds before I came back.

10

Valid. They were. And I legit never got them back.

Hey! Let’s be social and make bad decisions together, follow me on Facebook, and I’ll do the same for you.  LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.

***

Have you ever posted anything on the internet you later regretted?  What’s your best/most embarrassing post?

Countdown to Thanksgiving: A Tribute To America’s Greatest Holiday

Every year on Thanksgiving I promise myself that I will limit my food intake like a civilized human being who practices restraint and self control, and then every year after dinner on Thanksgiving I immediately unbutton my pants and say the words, “Diet tomorrow.”

It could be that I’m just so thankful for food.  But it also could be that I am a gluttonous human being and make a point to eat everything in sight like it’s the last time food will ever enter my body.  I honestly don’t even like cranberry sauce, but the idea of something disappearing without me ever getting a chance to enjoy it is enticing enough every year to make me slap it on my plate and immediately regret it.

Meanwhile, my father sits at the head of table practically bathing in cranberry sauce while wishing he had a third arm to help put all the food into his mouth before he passes out on the couch ten minutes after the meal is over. #FoodComa

But the nature of the holiday at some costs seems to be lost.  While there is an emphasis on spending the time with your loved ones and eating a crap ton of food until you have to put your fat jeans on from college, the purpose of the holiday itself is to be thankful for all we have.  But why do we do that just one day of the year?

In my opinion, holidays are just reminders that we’re all shitty people who are self-involved to the point that we need an actual DAY OFF from our lives to remember that we should be thankful for what we have. When did our society become selfish enough to not appreciate the gifts, the people, and the good in our lives on a daily basis?

If you are one of those superhumans who are innately good and caring and wonderful, I salute you, you’re doing the work of a modern-day saint.  But for the rest of us millennials, we’re all too busy slaving away from 9-5 trying to make enough money to afford our apartments, maintain active social lives, and keep up an appearance that we’re actually adults.

I’ve also been in this weird funk lately where I hate any and everyone, so I’m going to use this mini blog series as a way to combat the innerdemons of an overly privileged white girl from Connecticut.

For the next week, in preparation for Thanksgiving, I will be listing off things I am thankful for; because we should be thankful for things that bless us every day, regardless of how big or small they are.  I cannot promise they will be serious. But I can promise food and wine will be mentioned.

Today, I’m thankful for pajamas.

Much like everyone else who works 9-5 or just a job in general, you have to get dressed in the morning.  And while all of us would like a job that you can wear sweatpants all day, the number of openings for gym teachers are limited because the United States doesn’t seem to think exercise is a necessity for children.

I wake up every day and put my pants on one leg at a time.  And really, I mean that because I actually need to concentrate on just getting that one leg in there and plant it for support so I don’t fall over.  But there is no better feeling than watching the minutes tick down on your work clock so you can remove all the constrictive attire you’re forced to wear all day, envisioning that pair of pajamas blissfully sitting folded and tucked away in your closet or dresser, awaiting your arrival.

And for reals, big boobs or small boobs, all women know what a nuisance it is to have those puppies strapped to your person like a gun holster.  The countdown to bra removal is so real I am doing it right now.  I’m sure men can related to this on some level, but then again, no they can’t because they don’t have boobs.

I salute you, pajamas, for giving my body an outlet free from judgment.  Because no one can really judge attractiveness when it comes to sleepwear.  Personally, I like to greet my bed wearing a XXL Bruce Springsteen tshirt and a pair of my brother’s sweatpants. My roommates take a more adult approach and wear clothing that fits. They’re like all put together and stuff though.

I am thankful that pajamas are my go to outfit from Friday to Sunday and it’s not frowned upon in the slightest if I don’t change out of them and stay horizontal for 36 hours straight.  Sure, showering is like totally encouraged, but if you don’t know one really knows. Shhhhh.

Whatever your night time outfit is, make sure you give it a high five tonight.  Make sure you hug that ratty tshirt you’ve been wearing for six years a little tighter.  Say thanks to the clothes that give you through the strength to get through the workday as well as through the night.

<3

❤

What are you thankful for today?

Life Is Too Short Not To Risk Your Life For Instagram

Pics or it didn’t happen. Am I right?

Yesterday I went on what I thought was going to be a leisurely Sunday hike and what actually turned out to be a near death experience at the expense of getting mad likes on my instagram account.

https://instagram.com/p/vMSGiBugoD

Hey Leo DiCaprio, I’m still available.  Call me. #TitanicPose

Anyways, in an effort to celebrate my stupidity in exchange for some social media gratification, I’ve compiled a list of things that you should just do because life is just too goddamn short.

Life is too short, so:

  • don’t hold grudges
  • don’t count five seconds in order to eat things off the floor
  • don’t wait for the crosswalk signal. just go. seriously.
  • don’t be unhappy
  • try not to develop allergies to food – come on bodies, ADAPT ALREADY
  • wear shoes that are comfortable
  • eat an entire box of cereal in one sitting
  • try all flavors of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream
  • care about what other people think
  • don’t care about what other people think
  • be stupid
  • don’t be stupid
  • don’t grow up… like all the way
  • enjoy the finer things in life
  • pretend you’re still underage at the movie theaters in order to get discount movie tickets
  • pretend you’re of age at the liquor store in order to get alcohol
  • don’t skimp on ambition when it comes to your career
  • don’t settle
  • try and get through the express checkout lane with more than 15 items
  • drink lots of wine
  • eat lots of oreos
  • figure out what makes you happy
  • get hurt a bunch of times (preferably metaphorically, but maybe physically)
  • fall in love
  • then curse it when it slaps you in the face
  • learn lessons and make mistakes
  • spend all your money
  • live on your own
  • and when you do live on your own, eat like you’re seven again because it’s all you can afford
  • listen to bad music
  • find things you like about yourself
  • change the things you don’t (preferably metaphorically, but maybe physically)
  • don’t drive like a jackass
  • use your turn signals
  • say thank you and please and hello and goodbye
  • be nice
  • make a bucket list
  • wear sunscreen
  • eat healthy
  • but always leave room for dessert
  • do what you want
  • but not at the expense of other people
  • stay hungry (preferably metaphorically, but obviously physically)
  • stay healthy
  • treat people the way you want to be treated
  • do things you don’t want to do
  • remember everything
  • leave a legacy

***

 Have you ever made a bucket list? How far did you get on it?

Life Rule #46: Always Keep Your Fat Pants From College.

Much like the time I came home for the holidays and instead of saying I looked great, my mom could only muster the phrase, “Meg! You look… different.”

And different, folks, came in the form of cankles, a beer belly, and one too many trips to the dessert buffet at the dining hall.

This past halloween was the first time I was actually happy about the fact that I gained 20 lbs freshman year of college because I spent more time face deep in the all-you-can-eat dining halls rather than in books.

I have since lost the dreaded freshman twenty and leveled out to my normal frame.  And much like other people who achieve a big goal, I kept a memento to show me that I never want to go back to that place.  Which is also why I keep the ticket stub to Panic Room, because I never want to revisit that film in my lifetime, and need a tangible reminder that I still disliked Kristen Stewart at a young age.

Keep the hate flame hot, kids.

Anyways, I kept my fat pants from college, the ones I wore when I was my heaviest, and put them in my pants drawer to remind myself how far I’ve come. I never really took the time to look at them, keeping them folded up and put away was enough of a reminder for me.  I absolutely never intended to wear them again.

That was until brilliance struck me in the form of me literally being the cheapest person on the planet when it comes to Halloween costumes. Sure, I like dressing up as much as anyone, but cut to the part in my life where I go to Costco to eat a free sample lunch so I don’t spend money, and this holiday goes from doable to I hate my life in three seconds.

Also, since I like to be a pioneer and slutty costumes are generally frowned upon in an office setting, I decided that the best, most efficient option for Halloween was for me to dress up like a man.

And not just any man, Rob Dyrdek.

I was a HUGE fan of Rob and Big when I was in high school.  My friend, Megan, and I would watch marathons of it on weekends and just die laughing.  They were hysterical.  Plus, my friend Chris was the perfect partner for this costume, so we would totally kill two birds with one stone.

I finally had a place to wear my fat pants and finally got to live out a day in the life of a male. It was GLORIOUS.

#methodacting

#methodacting

But the best part about this whole day was when I was a social media addict and decided to tweet at both Rob Dyrdek AND Big Black to see if they would acknowledge my existence.  Much to my surprise and all to my shock and awe, THEY DID.

Then we went viral.  Well, viral in my terms.

RD

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER – @meg_lago

We got both of them to acknowledge us and I don’t know how Halloween will ever be greater than October 31, 2014. It was a day for the books and one I will never forget.

Moral of the story is, keep your fat pants.  Keep that old, baggy sweatshirt that may come in handy when you want to dress up like anyone who wears a sweatshirt.  Just keep all of it.  Aside from it reminding you of a you you don’t want to remember (wait, what?), they could come in handy when you decide you want to dress like a man for a day and tweet at a B-list celebrity.

What were you for Halloween? Has a celebrity ever tweeted at you? Am I insane?

I’m Going On Tour, Who Wants An Autograph?

Line up, kids! It’s a limited time offer for Megyonce to write you an email that has absolutely nothing to do with anything and sign it by typing out my name all fancy like this just like when we were in sixth grade:

❤ MEgLaGo~*BlOgGiNG qUaSi-CeLEbRiTy .:*~ ❤

That’s a signature fit for a star if I’ve ever seen one.

So in the event that you got this far without closing your tab and rendering that previous thirty seconds of your life wasted – although, I really will write you an email, just contact me; TRY ME, I DARE YOU – I’m not really going on tour, mainly because I don’t have any talents other than being able to successfully steal bananas from my job without getting caught (yet).

A lot of people who know me, and some who don’t, ask me how I come up with things to write about on my blog.  The short and long answer is I really don’t know.

But that’s why I was overjoyed (yup, so full of joy!) when Taylor from A Cup of Tay asked me to participate in a Blog Tour, because maybe that means we can both finally find out together why I’m so weird and what really went down at my friend’s birthday party that made me think it was a good idea to put balloons in my shirt to simulate boobs in front of a room of strangers.

OH! HOW FANCY!

OH! HOW FANCY!

Anyways, let’s take a trip into my brain and figure out what’s going on up there, shall we?

What am I working on?

Well, I’m not currently working on anything. That sentence is so depressing, I just bought stock in both Ben and Jerrys and sweatpants. Yes, sweatpants have stock, and I just bought some.  If there is anything pressing on your mind that you want me to talk about, bitch about, cover, uncover, investigate, or complain about, please contact me on my About page, and I’ll most likely do it for free, for fun, for food, and definitely for money.

How does my work differ from others of its type/genre?

In general, I think I am pretty brutally honest about a lot of stuff that happens in life.  We all go through ups and downs, but I bring light to struggles and make everyone realize that no one ever has it all together, not even Rachel McAdams, and she’s 99.9% perfect.  I find humor in the mundane aspects of life after college. When everyone is telling you how to make life better – I see you Thought Catalog and Elite Daily – I try and focus on telling you that I’m having those same issues, and there probably isn’t an easy or reasonable solution for theM.

Why do I write what I do?

Honestly, it’s cathartic as hell. A lot of people have the gym, their work, reading, whatever it is that helps them find a release from the stresses of life, and I have created this space where I can bitch about all this stuff that’s happening to me and a lot of people my age, and it’s just such a relief.  Even if no one read this blog – YES MOM I KNOW YOU’RE READING #FanClubOfOne – it would still be a space that would some way or another be a standin for a diary.  And if I can help or relate to one other person with each post, then I’ve done my job.

How does my writing process work?

This is a question I’d like to know the answer to as well. I have no idea. I honestly will be walking to work, trip over something, or spill coffee on my shirt for the third time that day and just need to get something off my chest, and BAM, you have a post about how ugly I was as a child or how much of life is cleaning up messes regardless of how organized you are. I just kind of word vomit all over the page and hope at the end of all of it something coherent and English came out.  If not, well, I guess then I just found out I was subconsciously bilingual and that’s pretty cool.

BUT! Enough about me, I want you to read some other people!  I was supposed to find more than one person to take over this tour for me, but just like middle school, I’m short on friends.  But I found an awesome blog, and you need to take a looksy or else I’m adding cookie dough to my stock cart and that’s not a good look for anyone.
They do exercise.. and they look good, too.

They do exercise.. and they look good, too.

I want to pass the metaphorical baton to Colby and Tina from It’s A Marathon AND A Sprint. This blog is awesome and makes me feel all sorts of inadequate when it comes to exercising.  These women are motivational, hilarious, and totally amazing to keep up with.  Plus, if you’re anything like me, you’ll want to sign up for all the races all the time and see how much your body can handle.  It makes the wine that much more worthwhile. Now go give your eyes a challenge and read all their posts, I’ll time you.
***

Do you want to participate in a blog tour? EMAIL ME (thehalfandhalfblog@gmail.com) for more information!

 

 

One Small Step For Man, One Giant Leap For Mankind

And I mean literally one, small step. Because I don’t even have to get off my couch to order hangover food anymore.

PRAISE JESUS, GOD DOES EXIST!

Honestly, I didn’t think my Tuesday could get better.  I went to yoga this morning and did a warrior 3 pose without falling on top of my face, then transformed myself into a tree like a boss without teetering or tottering. Today ruled before 8am.

But then something amazing happened. I was perusing the internet watching YouTube videos of beagles being released from captivity and then BAM! Yahoo! news is all up in my grill mix with this article about Taco Bell’s new app.

You hear that, Chipotle? Taco Breezey has a new app and you can pre-order all your hangover snacks and have it ready for your arrival. That’s some real royalty stuff, and I’m the real life self-proclaimed Princess of Burritos.

And wait, I was three seconds away from ending this blog prematurely before I even mentioned the added benefits of ordering yourself a Taco Bell breakfast from the convenience of your home. Now that you don’t have to wait until the stroke of dawn to be in the drive-thru line, you can order your cinnabites and breakfast crunchwrap supreme from the hangover palace that is your bed.

GET IN MY BELLY.

GET IN MY BELLY.

I mean, yes, you’ll have to go pick it up, but you won’t have to wait in line like the other plebeians who aren’t up to date on that dang-fangled technology (I see you, grandma) who also periodically set their alarm clocks to clog their arteries on their weekend fast food rotation.

Now, let me go snag my crown and go to town on a cheesy gordita crunch.

Ps- I know we’re all reeling on high emotions because of this sem-monumental creation, but if Taco Bell could speed up the process on a delivery system, I’d solemnly swear to cut Chipotle off for the rest of my life and pledge my allegiance to the kingdom of TB.

Your call, Mr. Bell.

What do you think about Taco Bell’s new app?

The ABC’s of Working In An Office

BangHead

I need this. ASAP.

You know, because since you’re not in school anymore, and I need to show you that the alphabet is still relevant.

Or something like that.

And since everyone will inevitably take the leap from sheer joy in college to utter madness in corporate life, I’ve taken the time to write down twenty-six letter-correlating words relating to working in an office.

If you don’t work in an office, feel free to take the this time to read some of my other posts that may be more relatable, email me about all of your problems, or maybe figure out a way to build me a teleport so I can finally get myself to the Amalfi Coast.

Here are the ABC’S of Working In An Office:

A – Awkward Small Talk. Get used to talking about the weather, things in your general area, or the G version of your weekend.

B – Bitching. Clients suck. Accounts suck. Creative people suck. Deadlines suck. Bosses suck. Mondays suck. Working sucks.  

C – Caffeine. Pick your poison, coffee, soda, tea, or tequila. Whatever it is, make some room for a full-fledged addiction, headaches galore that only some ground up Colombian beans can fix. Oh, and if you kill it, you fill it. Don’t be a dick.

D – Dress Code. From suits and ties to jeans and button ups, make sure you follow the rules.

E – Email. Don’t use a silly font. Be basic, bitch.

F – Free Stuff. Client gifts are the best. Who doesn’t love a free tray of cookies or an endless supply of hot pink camo lanyards?

G – GChat. It’s your friend. It’s your family. It’s your life.

H – Happy Hour. And the reason you get up every morning to make it until Friday. It’s the greatest time of the week and a final release into the wild weekend.

I – Internet. No explanation needed.

J – Jealousy. You will have so much hatred for someone with a better lunch than you.

K – Kitchen. Don’t touch my food. Label everything or don’t expect it to be waiting for you.

L – Lunch. Your internal clock will be set, and then it will be messed up. You’ll either eat at 12pm, or you won’t eat at all.

M – Mugs. And you’re going to be territorial over them, too.  Once you find a mug that perfectly holds all your hot beverages, place an imaginary stamp on it and let your coworkers know that it is no longer open for the beverage business, that shit is yours.

N – New Hires. Be nice, being the new kid is scary. And it doesn’t get easier when you’re an adult.

O – Open Space. Didn’t think you were a loud talker? Think you are sneaky with how many times a day you check Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and GChat? Think again, open space is the new thing, there are no walls, and there is nowhere for you to hide.

P – Productivity. Make sure you get your shit done and stuff.

Q – Quiet. Bring headphones. Not everyone likes to listen to Hip Hop classics at 9am on a Wednesday. Unless they do, then you should never leave that office environment.

R – Relationships. A good rule of thumb: Professional = Great Idea. Platonic = Good Idea. Romantic = Extremely/Horribly/Terribly Bad Idea.

S – Sick Days. Quote, unquote.

T – Teams. The people you work with. Hopefully you like them. Either way, you’re stuck with them. #GroupProjectsDontEndInCollege

U – Unproductive. And the reason that I wrote this blog. Be prepared for finding any and all excuses to avoid doing actual work, you never knew you needed to run to Starbucks more than three times in a day.

V – Vacation. Don’t you dare bother me with work emails.

W – Work Hard, Play Hard. A good motto. Don’t forget to have fun. Life is short.

X – This letter is stupid.

Y – Yawns. The two-o’clock feeling is real. Siestas and nap time is not.

Z – Zen. When you leave the office.

 

 

 

 

No, You Can’t Bring Your Life Size LeBron James Poster Into The Apartment.

My boyfriend and I recently decided to take the step towards cohabitation.

You know, living together. Under the same roof. Sharing a bathroom. Letting him have access to my Netflix queue. And mostly, trying not to fight about whose turn it was to eat the leftover burrito from Chipotle.

So with great decisions, comes great responsibility: like figuring out what will and will not make the journey from our separate living quarters into the one we will share.

All the sudden, I’m having flashbacks to kindergarten, my teacher preaching from the pulpit sermons of compromise and open communication.  I’m begrudgingly trying to set aside my dreams of having my apartment look like a floor model from Home Goods, slowly realizing that this step is something that needs to be taken together, bringing in elements and pieces from our pasts in order to build our future.

But that doesn’t mean there is going to be putting a nine-foot tall cardboard cut-out of LeBron James in my entryway. Not on my watch.

And in an effort to not totally deter all men from moving in with women because they won’t allow sports trinkets to sneak into their boxes, I’ve realized there’s a list of things girls probably should avoid if they want to make this transition a happy, healthy, and lasting one.

When living with your significant other, keep these things in mind:

The bathroom is a sacred place and he’s going to be in there a lot.  While girls tend to get a bad reputation for taking too long to get ready, boys have a tendency to spend the better part of a year in the bathroom with no consequences attached.

Make sure your bathroom is neat, organized, and promotes healthy cleaning habits.  With that being said, it’s probably a good idea not to have the main bathroom decoration be a collection of tampons of varying shapes and sizes.

Along the same lines, having a calendar is a good way to keep track of when you and your significant other will be in and out of the city.  You can each have a color marker and a corresponding color-coded key.  You’ll have so much fun adding all the different appointments you both have throughout the month if you have OCD, like me, or are just a twenty-five year old who still appreciates coloring.

This calendar, however, would not be an ideal place to mark when your Time of the Month is taking place with big, red X’s along with a corresponding color-coded key that says they mean you probably won’t have sex that week.

Decorating is the shit. I mean, girls practically pee their pants at the thought of bringing in new patterns, textures and colors to their living rooms. Moving into a place with your boyfriend pretty much signifies you’ve almost entered adulthood, so you’ll want your new place to look sophisticated as hell.

Decorative pillows are a fun way to infuse color into a room without going overboard.  These decorative pillows should not be in the form of stuffed animals that were given to you by ex-boyfriends on past Valentine’s Days.

Chandeliers are classy.  But chandeliers solely consisting of old Beyonce cds and candles you used for that seance at a sleepover when you were seventeen are not a way to signify you’re a high class broad.

Physically living with your boyfriend means you don’t have to have pictures of you and him together littering your apartment.  This does not mean you should have pictures of your exes around your apartment in frames labeled “Memories” and “Good Times.”

Coffee tables are a great place to establish yourself as a cultured, well-read human being.  Avoid having Cosmopolitan be the only magazine allowed in the apartment.

Above all, respect each other. That’s like important, I think.

Do you have any tips for moving in with a significant other?

The Five Ws of Beyonce’s Favorite Fashion Accessory

Because… what the hell is that thing?

Listen, I am the first person to raise her hand and let the world know I haven’t the slightest clue what is or isn’ trendy.  I can barely find pants that fit or a shirt that doesn’t make my boobs look lopsided.

With that being said, sometimes there are certain things that celebrities wear that make me stand up on my couch shouting to the high heavens, “What on God’s green earth is she/he/it/everyone wearing?”  And by sometimes, I mean pretty much every time Lady Gaga walks outside.

Growing up, my teacher’s always told me to do the Five W’s if I didn’t understand things in order to get a complete mental comprehension of a story, event, or subject.  And aside from the fact that I turned into a semi-upstanding citizen  without really knowing where wind comes from, I think the five W’s have helped me understand a lot of life’s shortcomings.

I haven’t done it in a while, but when I watched Jay-Z and Beyonce’s HBO special, On The Run, and I was slapped in the face with seventy questions ranging from Jay-Z actually being a semi-relevant songmaker to the perplexing amount of “What is that?” remarks regarding Beyonce’s wardrobe choices, I knew I had to break out the big guns.

Case and point, this thing:

Exhibit A.

Exhibit A.

So grab a pencil, because school is back in session folks and I’m breaking out the Five W’s for Beyonce’s favorite fashion accessory, the fishnet face mask.

WHO:

Who, other than Beyonce, wears this? Definitely not burglars, unless they are really not worried about the whole incognito effect.  This just doesn’t seem plausible for a high profile robbery when you have your face pretty much showing.  I could, however, see it being popular for lunch ladies, as hairnets are all the rage on the serving circuit, but this thing doesn’t even cover all your hair, and what happens when you have to sneeze?  SOMEONE ANSWER ME.

WHAT:

What… is… it? What does it do?  What is it for?  There are so many questions and I can’t wrap my head around it.  Do you wear it for a couple hours a day to get a nice fishnet face imprint?  Is that fun?  Does it make people look sexy?  I don’t know what I’m doing wrong in the sex appeal department, but if I have to start wearing a fishnet burglar-style mask to attract men, I don’t know if I’m really ready for that type of commitment.

WHERE:

Where do I wear this?  On the street, maybe on the way to work?  Will it work if I am on the slopes skiing? I don’t think so.  Maybe I would put it on after getting ready for a night out on the town with all my girl friends.  We’re all dolled up, hair done, nails done, everything did, and then the last part of our outfits are all these fishnet face masks.  I really don’t see  a gaggle of mid-twenties females all looking like guppies being a man repellant in any way.

WHEN:

When did this become cool?  I get the fishnet stockings, maybe even the occasional shirt, if you’re feeling frisky.  But I like having my face exposed.  Call me revolutionary, but the thought of wearing fabric over my face without the intention of going skiing or holding someone hostage within the hour seems a little ridiculous to me.

WHY:

Why? Just why?  That is all I have to ask.

Someone please bring me up to speed on this, or anything fashion related.  Otherwise, I’ll be sitting here with pants that are too big and my right boob looking slightly larger than the left because of this damn unflattering pattern.  I need help.

What do you think of Beyonce’s fishnet face mask?

The Friday Five: My Favorite Posts of the Week!

Each week, I list off my favorite posts from all the wonderful blogs I follow.  I mean, if I love you, why shouldn’t the rest of the world?  So, without further adieu, here are the posts that really got my attention this week!

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It’s A Vogue World: Freedom Rally in Boston: The Style

Because I live in Boston and I love fashion and pictures are cool.

Mindful Digressions: Whatever floats your boat

Very good post about being kind to one another.

Lucille In The Sky: The secret to patience (lessons from my children)

Because we can all learn things from children.  Like how to blow spit bubbles and have invisible friends.

KissMeOutOfDesire: Nice guys don’t finish last

Stop saying friendzoned.  Just stop.

aNadventures: Don’t be ugly

It starts with remembering to be kind.

BONUS: I Will Do Exactly The Opposite Of What You Told Me To Do

I don’t listen.

Who likes badges?  Everyone, that’s who!  If I featured your post this week, or in any previous weeks, feel free to grab one of these bad boys and slap in on your blog so the world can know you’ve been baked with greatness by yours truly.

xoxo, Meg

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What was your favorite post (by you or someone else) from this week?  Submit it in a comment and maybe I’ll feature my top five favorites next Friday!