Thoughts On Cankles, Dieting, and Finding My Voice.

The night before I started my first diet, I looked a package of Oreos square in the eyeball and said, “This isn’t goodbye forever, this is goodbye for now.”

Every. Single. Day.

Every. Single. Day.

Some background on the subject: I went on said diet because when I came back from studying abroad, my mother informed me that I had developed cankles during my four month stint overseas. I guess eating carbs all day, erry day, while simultaneously washing them down with all the beers in the world causes your ankles to swell in such away that you actually can’t tell they were ever ankles in the first place.

I knew that the diet wouldn’t last forever. Mostly because I’m an impulsive eater and can’t keep my hands off of anything that resembles a dessert treat. But it was something I needed to do in order to learn balance and appreciation of food, rather than just shoveling it into my face without breathing.

My struggles with food and dieting is a conversation topic for an entirely different time. What I’m trying to do with that poorly structured metaphor, is explain that some times you need to step away from things that make you happy, in order to better yourself in other ways.

I started this blog back in 2013.  At the time, it was a great way to avoid doing actual work.  I was able to find my voice, define my writing style, unload all my weird thoughts permanently on the internet, and ultimately, figure out that writing was and is my passion, and that I needed to work hard to pursue it.

In January 2015, I achieved my goal of becoming an advertising copywriter.

In short, this means that there has been increasingly less time that I have been able to dedicate towards writing for my personal benefit. Sure, it’s sad, but just like the Oreos, there are things in life you have to give up in order to improve upon yourself.

Only instead of decreasing the size of my ankles so I can wear regular shoes, it’s taking a step back from growing in my personal writing to finding my voice within the professional world.

So this is not goodbye forever. I’m sure there will be gems that I can think of that truly deserve to be written, and they will. But in terms of regular posts and consistent content, I can’t commit to that any further.  For those of you who have been loyal followers, I appreciate it more than you know.

You have given me the opportunity to share my ideas, thoughts, and weird stories. I’ve been afforded the chance to read some amazing posts, connect and network with awesome writers, and find people that I admire, adore, and am completely jealous of their minds.

So check back periodically for some rambles that will most likely involve snacks, wine, and how I’ll really never understand how to be socially acceptable during human interactions.

If you’re not my mom and aren’t already following me on everything, and for some reason want to keep up with me on other platforms, please feel free to follow me on INSTAGRAM and TWITTER, and I’ll return the favor.

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The Friday Five: My Favorite Posts of the Week!

Each week, I list off my favorite posts from all the wonderful blogs I follow.  I mean, if I love you, why shouldn’t the rest of the world?  So, without further adieu, here are the posts that really got my attention this week!

fridayfive

It’s A Vogue World: Freedom Rally in Boston: The Style

Because I live in Boston and I love fashion and pictures are cool.

Mindful Digressions: Whatever floats your boat

Very good post about being kind to one another.

Lucille In The Sky: The secret to patience (lessons from my children)

Because we can all learn things from children.  Like how to blow spit bubbles and have invisible friends.

KissMeOutOfDesire: Nice guys don’t finish last

Stop saying friendzoned.  Just stop.

aNadventures: Don’t be ugly

It starts with remembering to be kind.

BONUS: I Will Do Exactly The Opposite Of What You Told Me To Do

I don’t listen.


Who likes badges?  Everyone, that’s who!  If I featured your post this week, or in any previous weeks, feel free to grab one of these bad boys and slap in on your blog so the world can know you’ve been baked with greatness by yours truly.

xoxo, Meg

big deal

What was your favorite post (by you or someone else) from this week?  Submit it in a comment and maybe I’ll feature my top five favorites next Friday!

The Friday Five: My Favorite Posts of the Week!

Each week, I list off my favorite posts from all the wonderful blogs I follow.  I mean, if I love you, why shouldn’t the rest of the world?  So, without further adieu, here are the posts that really got my attention this week!

fridayfive

yadadarcyyada: To Ice Bucket or Not To Ice Bucket

Interesting take on the challenge that has swiffered the nation.  Maybe everyone should just donate to the cause?

Rae of Sparkles: I want my cake. And I’m going to eat it.

Because DIY scares the shit out of me and this looks super fun and adorable.

Project Light to Life: Strangers Help Fulfill Terminally Ill 5-Year-Old’s Bucket List

For once it was nice to read a post about someone in the news.  I realize how much I talk about myself and how people like this deserve the spotlight, not my inability to adhere to social cues.

My Broken Brain: How having a brain injury can open the door to 15000ft

Super inspirational post about overcoming adversity dealing with brain injury.  Plus skydiving is DA BOMB.

Tipsy Lit: Good Writers Are Great Listeners

Kind of a shameless plug, but this is one post I’m particularly proud to call my own 🙂

BONUS: BE MY FRIEND

Let’s be friends, everyone.  I need them.  My mom is starting to think I have a drinking problem.


Who likes badges?  Everyone, that’s who!  If I featured your post this week, or in any previous weeks, feel free to grab one of these bad boys and slap in on your blog so the world can know you’ve been baked with greatness by yours truly.

xoxo, Meg

big deal

What was your favorite post (by you or someone else) from this week?  Submit it in a comment and maybe I’ll feature my top five favorites next Friday!

It’s Come To My Attention That I Am Short On Friends…

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Mark West is my only friend.

Like, I think I enjoy spending time alone with wine, but it might be because I don’t have anyone to hang out with and drink the wine with me.  So that’s where you come in, I think, PLEASE COME IN!

It’s Thursday, and I’m in a giving mood.

(Not like that, get your mind out of the gutter)

I’ve had a slew of new followers over the past few weeks, which is amazing and I am super-dee-duperly thankful for all of ya peeps!  So I wanted to take the time to get to know all of you, since you’ve been so wonderful as to care about what I have to say.

Which is awesome because my cerebral cortex is one weird place.

So here’s what to do if you want to be friends, which essentially means you’ll instantly be on the proverbial path towards greatness and celebrity status and I will shower you with compliments and fairy dust ( or just do it to take pity on me) :

1.  I’ve added a shiny, new “Friends” page. And I want you to be on it!

2.  Grab the badge at the bottom, put it somewhere on your page.  Remember to link back to me (http://thehalfandhalfblog.com)!  Once you’ve done this, message me, post a link to your blog in the comments, or yell really loud so that I can hear you telling me you’ve done it.

3.  Once you’ve done it, I’ll add your blog to my friends list. Which is essentially like being the most popular kids in school, but it’s the internet, so it’s better than school.

4.  Once we are friends, feel free to send me a message and let me know if you’d like to guest post. I want to make this here blog more like a conversation, and I’d love to have multiple perspectives on topics.

 

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How sexy is this puppy? Don’t answer that, it’s so sexy.

 

If nothing else, do it so I know my mother isn’t the only one who reads this blog.  Help me, help you, help me.  You can follow me on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+. Because too much of a good thing is never too much… or is it? No, it’s not, because ice cream and puppies exist, and you can never have too much of those.

Thank you again for being interested in the inner workings of my brain, and I look forward to finding out what you have to say.  I love reading.  Almost to the point where I do it too much and this is why I’m asking for friendship in return for virtual slice and bake cookies.

Read on, soldiers!

xoxo, Meg

The Friday Five: My Favorite Posts Of The Week

Each week, I list off my favorite posts from all the wonderful blogs I follow.  I mean, if I love you, why shouldn’t the rest of the world?  So, without further adieu, here are the posts that really got my attention this week!

Friday Favorites

Friday Favorites

Meaghan McGoldrick: My mother hated tattoos, so naturally I got one for her

I love this girl.  She has such a similar sense of humor to me, and I always get excited when she posts something new.  This post really grabbed my attention because of my love for tattoos.  If you love them, and even if you don’t, you should read this because it’s heartwarming, funny, and witty all at the same time.

The Dating Diaries: Lessons Learned

Just stumble upon this blog recently, and I am so impressed.  I love the headstrong, realistic attitude of this post, and it’s an eye opener especially for how I am when I’m dating someone.

Ellroy Was Here: Fear And Loathing In The Third Stall

I hate public restrooms.  This was a funny post about rules, mostly unwritten, that are supposed to be followed.  People tend not to listen, and they tend to make a mess.  But if you learn anything from this post, please avoid the first stall at all costs.

Hand of Anake: A Simple Analogy, But I Think It Works

Love this attack on ignorance and the people using words in a derogatory manner.  He puts it in a simple analogy, and for anyone who hates to be tickled, you will immediately understand the connection to a slur and an unwanted attack.

The Dimwhit: What’s In A Name? Sometimes A Racial Slur

I just love this because whenever I’m at Starbucks I always think about the people who get their name spelled wrong on their cups.  It’s an interesting look at how a name can be interpreted by different people.

BONUS: I Got Lost In The Dating Pool

My not so expert advice on dating using an extended metaphor.  May be my favorite post I’ve written to date. (No pun intended)


Who likes badges?  Everyone, that’s who!  If I featured your post this week, or in any previous weeks, feel free to grab one of these bad boys and slap in on your blog so the world can know you’ve been baked with greatness by yours truly.

xoxo, Meg

thehalfandhalfblog.com

BUTTON SWAG

 

 

What was your favorite post (by you or someone else) from this week?  Submit it in a comment and maybe I’ll feature my top five favorites next Friday!

Steps To Creating An Amazing Birthday Invitation

Happy Saturday!  I’m here to present you with some tips and tricks to whipping up the most entertaining and wildly inappropriate birthday party invitation.  FOLLOW ALONG!

Let’s all pray that my transition into adulthood is an easy one.  But the more I talk about it, it’s starting to sound more like I am turning into a vampire rather than a grown woman.

Anyways, if you’re wondering how a mature, completely rational, almost quarter-century old human would request people’s presence at her birthday party, look no further, because I have provided you with the information that will solidify attendees and maximize fun.

Gawk, laugh, take notes, or ignore this completely.  But regardless, here’s what you should keep in mind when attempting to create an appealing, exciting, birthday proposal!

this is how you do a birthday invitation

this is how you do a birthday invitation

 

xoxo, Meg 🙂

Tell me!! What are you up to this weekend?

Things Boys Are Doing While They’re Not Texting You Back

You asked him about his thoughts on the color blue, and he hasn’t responded.  The nerve!

Here’s what he could be doing instead:

  • sleeping
  • rattling off sports statistics in a macho-off with his friends
  • eating pizza
  • doing hoodrat shit with his friends
  • watching baseball
  • watching basketball
  • watching football
  • watching hockey
  • watching any other sport in the world
  • watching sports center
  • reading ESPN.comgirlfriend-clingy-crazy-texting
  • eating burritos
  • googling pictures of Dwayne Wade
  • drinking beers with his friends
  • playing video games
  • playing basketball
  • playing football
  • playing baseball
  • playing golf
  • googling pictures of Kevin Durant
  • doing anything active
  • taking a nap
  • eating pasta
  • trying to figure out why you asked him that question
  • doing push ups
  • googling sports predictions for the upcoming season
  • watching porn
  • reading Barstool Sports
  • complaining that there is no one around to make him a sandwich
  • talking to someone on the phone
  • taking a shower
  • forgetting you texted him in the first place
  • researching the illuminati on wikipedia
  • grocery shopping
  • comparing who has bigger biceps among his friends
  • googling pictures of Mila Kunis
  • making fun of someone else in his group of friends
  • watching a movie
  • trying to figure out/understand the female psyche
  • actually doing work
  • dreaming out the next meal
  • talking in a weird accent
  • masturbating
  • googling pictures of sneakers
  • driving somewhere
  • not talking about his feelings
  • working out
  • watching videos of old people falling over on YouTube
  • eating lunch
  • eating breakfast
  • eating dinner
  • eating a snack
  • watching some more porn
  • refreshing that app that tells you all those sports scores and stats
  • googling pictures of LeBron James
  • pretending to work out while they check out other girls at the gym
  • figuring out where he left his cell phone
  • on his lunch break
  • enjoying some extra curricular activities
  • or he just doesn’t feel like answering your question because he feels no immediate need to respond as it will not directly benefit him in the near future

 

Honestly, The “Now, That’s What I Call Disney” Compilation Is A Complete Travesty.

This compiler is a dunce.

This compiler is a dunce.

I can’t go into the weekend with this on my mind.  So, here we go.

I asked my mom the other day, “On a scale of 1-10, how dramatic am I?”

In unwritten dramatic scales, 10 presumably consists of daily temper tantrums in the street because you can’t get two toppings on your ice cream cone, and 1 consists of ignoring all problems in your day to day life because you’re just “so over the drama.”

My mother rated me at an 8.

Yes, an 8 on the drama scale. My mother just sentenced me to a semi-regular mental and physical breakdown in a public place over frozen treats.

Keeping that in mind, but at the same time, ignoring it completely and thinking of me in a more positive, attractive, calm and collected light, I want to tell you a story.

Recently, there was an attack on my childhood.

It started with an infomercial. An innocent advertisement for a compilation of songs that serenaded me through adolescence, Now That’s What I Call Disney!

At the start of it all, it seemed like a mix I could get behind. A little piece of plastic disc nostalgia that I could really see myself enjoying… Until I saw the track list.

Frankly, it was just atrocious. Flat out wrong, immoral, and a complete mockery of the cartoons that taught me the wind had colors, carpets can fly, and legs were required for dancing.

I don’t know who did it.  I don’t know what committee is involved with the song selection.  I’m assuming can only be a panel made up of this woman and her friends, to represent Disney in the first volume of hits.

But, God as my witness, it needs to be corrected.

At first glance you may think to yourself, hey Meg, your mom is totally right, you are dramatic, I actually think I saw you crying about missing toppings on your ice cream cone back in August.

And while I was having a tantrum, it was actually because my friend wouldn’t buy me a wine at 3pm on a Wednesday.

My thoughts on this CD are still valid.  If you’re going to have a Now That’s What I Call Disney, you’ll need a few Bare Necessities, if you will (umm…. yes, pun totally intended). Here are my expert feelings on most of the selections:

…THE GOOD

Can You Feel The Love TonightI’ll be honest, this is the first love scene I ever saw in a feature film. So, that alone needs to be a reason for it to be PRAISED. Lion love is like, so real.

Part Of Your WorldNever in my life have I found someone who had as many thingamabobs as me.  I also have never met anyone who didn’t know what a fire was and why it burned.  Still don’t. So… anyone?

Hakuna Matata: Zen Nation. I didn’t know what chill was until I heard this song.  Plus, teenage Simba was kinda hot, no? Just me? K.

Under the Sea: How did I know things existed under water? This song.  Figured the sea was just a big bathtub that covered the Earth’s floor before I found out there were talking crabs and singing corals down there. Just a big percussion party at the clam bake on the ocean floor.

Circle Of Life: NAHAHHHHHSSIIVVEEENNNYYAAA- NAMA-MEE-SCALABOOOOOW. Don’t know if that’s what it says, but I’m gonna sing it like that so loud, and so proud. Every time. Such a good song.

Colors of the Wind: I have asked four grinning bobcats, none have answered. I have no idea why the hell they keep smiling and someone needs to answer me. NOW.

I Just Can’t Wait To Be KingThis song taught me how to rule a household.  One time my mom told me to go clean my room before my grandparents came to visit. I was all like, “Kings don’t need advice from little horn bills for a start.” —  I don’t want to talk about what happened after that. (#Grounded)

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious: Ummdiddaliddiaummdillaaaiiiiiiii. I don’t think there are actual words to this song, so it gets credit by default for being a jumble of syllables with a boss melody.

…THE BAD

When You Wish Upon a Shooting Star: Could this be a more boring opener?  Do I want to fall asleep immediately after one song? No. I want to continue my journey down memory lane and go back to the time that I actually thought body parts would grow if I lied (aside: this would be so cool if you could pick the body parts that grew after lying, like my hair, I’d be Millenium Rapunzel with all my fib growth).

Someday My Prince Will Come: The only acceptable song from Snow White that should be included on this cd is Heigh Ho, and you didn’t do that.

Bella Notte: More like better not. Snore city.  Population: everyone listening.

A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes: To be honest, I didn’t even know there were songs in Cinderella, this is just dumb.

Once Upon A Dream, Go The Distance, Friend Like Me, I Won’t Say: Same thing, don’t even remember these songs. Like a bad football player, cut ’em.

Everybody Wants to Be A Cat: Newsflash: No one likes cats. Dogs are so in right now. Puppies are the new currency, and cats are straight up debt. No one wants debt; no one wants cats.

I See The Light, You’ve Got A Friend In Me, Life is A HighwayNew aged Pixar Disney movies shouldn’t even be considered for volume 1 (Post ’95). It’s just a sin. Get out of my face Tangled, Cars, and Toy Story. See you next year, suckaaaaas.

Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride: Does it sound like a good time? Yes. Do I even know what it means? No. I’ve never seen Lilo and Stitch because I like movies about real animals with real plots. I see you Lion King. Respect.

Reflection (NOT CHRISTINA AGUILERA): I don’t know why I would have to explain this, but not having Christina’s version of this song is nothing shy of eating a sandwich without condiments. Just deplorable.

… THE UGLY

Seeing as I just exiled ten songs from DisneyTown, there are some additions that need to be spoken for in order to make this whole ordeal right:

I’ll Make A Man Out of You: The fact that this song isn’t number 1 on the whole thing is blasphemous. This is the best song in Disney history. Coursing rivers, great typhoons, raging fires, moons with mysterious dark sides. Color me intrigued. Repeat. All day. Every day. Except when I get sick of it. I take one day off. Then start again.

Be Our GuestTalking candles? Pots and pans that have feelings? An ottoman that’s a dog? GIVE ME THIS HOUSE. I don’t need friends, I have decorations that will hang out with me. Life crisis averted.

Heigh-Ho: Give a kid a pick-axe and ask him to sing a song. What’s it gonna be?  This one. Unforgivable overlook.

Reflection (Christina Aguilera Version): Phenomenal acting by Mulan in this music video.  Very attentive, inquisitive stares into various mirrors of sizes and lengths.  Breathtaking.

The only way to make this right is to take my suggestions and reprint all the copies of the cd out there right now. I’m speaking for a generation of 85’s to 90’s babies. But really, I’m speaking for myself. Fix it. Fix it now. Make it right. Or make a man out of me. Either one would be greatly appreciated.

Although, under no circumstances, will I be doing this:

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GOOD DAY.

I’ve been here a few minutes too long.

Do you ever get that uncomfortable feeling that creeps up on you at the worst time?  Maybe that one that shows up after you’ve been having a blast, making fast friends, and then all the sudden you realize you one of three people left at a friend-of-a-friend’s house and the friend that brought you has disappeared into thin air?

Yeah, it’s that well known feeling of shock, horror, and awkward turtles letting you know that you are lingering.  You’ve just been there too long.

We’ve all done it.  I’ve had my fair share of overstays, not taking hints, and utter annoyances.  It’s a natural progression from being completely oblivious to social cues to blossoming into the world of knowing when to utilize a timely exit.

But for some, this realization never comes to fruition, so we are left with the human crumbs of a once delightful friend cake.  The remnants that hang around too long, are hard to get to leave, and ultimately, end up ruining a perfectly good dinner date.

Are you that guy or girl that likes to greet friends and relatives with a warm embrace?  If so, good for you!  I’m all for a handshake to hug combination when it comes to people I haven’t seen in a while.  But for the love of Rudolph at a clown convention, don’t hug me for more than fifteen seconds. Chin to shoulders, maybe a pat on the back and a, “Nice to see ya, bucko!” and let’s just move on.

If that’s not enough to make you uncomfortable, let’s bring up that person at the party who tells jokes that no one understands. I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t quite understand why you’re equating your wife with professional cow tipping. But I’m going to fake laugh anyways and try and change the subject to something we can all relate to, like stickers, puppies, and wine.

Oh yeah, and screw you, hangover, you sneaky son of a bitch.  If I wanted pain of death without actually dying to last more than an hour, I would avoid drinking all together.  Instead I take the good with the bad, knowing that my headache is a mere consequence of my inability to avoid peer pressure, pop an Advil and move on with my day.  But sometimes, Mr. Hangover, you want to hang around all day, and frankly, I don’t approve.  It’s rude, and it confines me to a twenty-four hour horizontal period of indoor vampire activity because sunlight hurts my eyeballs.  Take a cue from the last kid at the party and leave before you’re unwanted.

It’s that smell that seems to permeate the air at the worst possible time.  You could be out at the bar with your friends, having a girls night, taking shots and reminiscing about the time you studied abroad and got robbed in broad daylight.  Then all the sudden this stench hits your nose like a punch from Mohammad Ali.  You cannot get over it, you cannot look past it, and you cannot figure out where it is coming from.  If you are the person providing the general public with a smell strong enough to bring the fun level in a room down, please make a note to check yourself before you wreck everyone else.  It’s common sense to have a sense of smell; use deodorant.

I’d like to politely say, “stop it forever” to The Cranberries. You do not have to, have to let it linger.  The band had to practice some sort of ironic witchcraft that allowed that song to have staying power, but nevertheless, I’m here to plead with the masses and ask to remove it from your rotation, permanently.

It’s all fun and games to take a trip down memory lane.  Some of the greatest memories I have as a child are so vivid in my mind it’s like they happened yesterday.  But there is something about seeing an image that is so mentally scarring that it’s almost like an iron, tattoo needle, and a camera all came together around your cerebellum and said, “this one is going to stick with you forever.”  Do I want to forget the time I unintentionally intercepted a sexual text message between two people with whom I should not know anything about their sex life? Absolutely.  Is it going to forever be burned into my brain only to leave when I die? Yes.

But that’s the thing about the lingerer – it doesn’t go away when it should.  I don’t understand why the good things never seem to hang around, like maintaining your goal weight after after a birthday party at Junk Foods R’ Us, or not feeling pain when you walk in heels.

Basically, whoever said too much of a good thing is bad never had anything good happen to them.  They probably wanted to make out with the person hosting the party, had a blast and stayed longer than anticipated, but ultimately ended up staying too late and making it awkward.

And that sucks for that person, but let’s not make unwanted hang arounds a thing, okay?

Cheers to you, to me, to you, and back to me again, and then you, and then me.

Irish or not, you know about St. Patrick’s Day.

Seeing as Monday is one of the most glorified drinking holidays on the planet, I figured I’d give you a little something to think about going into the weekend.  There’s going to be beer, there’s going to be drinking, there’s going to be parades, and most of all, there are going to be, “CHEERS!”

Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard them all, “To good friends! – To good times!” yadda, yadda, yadda.  BOOOORING.

If you stick with the run of the mill drink clinks, you’ll quickly run out of things to say and simultaneously raise your glass.  That’s why I’m here to help you.

The following is a list of things you can, “Cheers!” to this weekend in honor of Saint Patrick:

  • To money
  • To your bank account
  • To your parents, because without them you would not be alive and drinking today
  • To not falling down
  • To the Pilgrims and Indians getting along splendidly
  • To the military and the USA
  • To falling down and getting back up
  • To that kid not wearing green because “he isn’t Irish”
  • To that kid peeing on the sidewalk
  • To your friends because, “OH MY GAHHH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH”
  • To not using public restrooms
  • To finally getting to use the public restroom
  • To airplanes and automobiles that will bring you home
  • To candy hearts that express emotions so you don’t have to
  • To being single and not running into your ex
  • To not being single and running into your ex
  • To Tinder when there’s a surplus of hot drunk individuals in one concentrated area
  • To seeing eye dogs – because they’re the shit
  • To Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinski (he did not have sexual relations with that woman)
  • To not wearing heels
  • To bacon, eggs, and cheese, and bread.  So much bread.
  • To live music and uncomfortably swaying and calling it ‘dancing’
  • To Outkast reuniting
  • To free alcohol
  • To stealing alcohol
  • To making fast friends on the streets that you have absolutely no intention of ever talking to again
  • To sleep number beds for always knowing what you want
  • To McDonald’s for giving us the Happy Meal when you’re ordering over 18 years of age
  • To wearing sunglasses when it’s not sunny because you’re too hungover to be in public
  • To the one time of the year wear corn beef and cabbage is a fun thing to eat
  • To castles and royalty
  • TO POTATOES!
  • To infinity and beyond
  • To street meat
  • To Janet Jackson’s nip slip
  • To Leo DeCaps and Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On”
  • To finding out all your socks matching up after laundry
  • To cooking something that isn’t poisonous
  • To haircuts and looking so fresh and so clean, clean
  • To creating resolutions and breaking them
  • To giving up beer for Lent…… then taking it back because St. Patrick’s day is during Lent
  • To the world’s largest ball of yarn
  • TO POTATOES!
  • To tear-away Adidas sweats and white high top sneakers
  • To snap bracelets and snap backs and Snap, Crackle, Pop
  • To Ramen noodles and drinking like you’re in college again
  • To day drinking and passing out before 9pm
  • To having an excuse to drunk dial your mom and dad just to , “Say hey.”
  • To Ireland and the people from it who immigrated here because there were no potatoes, without whom we would not be the population of drunk people we are today, and we have to salute you the only way we know how, by getting drunk

Go forth, my sons, into the land of inebriation.