Some Friends Are For Life, Others Are Just For Now.

 

The hardest lesson we have to learn is that we won’t keep all the friendships we collect over the years.

But that also doesn’t make the friendships that fizzled out any less valuable. They may be gone, but they shouldn’t be forgotten.

At one point or another, you had a common bond, a need for each other, a desire to make one another better.  You had the power, the will, and the right stuff that just fit at that time period.

Just like you’ll rarely stay at the same job for your entire career, friends are not necessarily meant to be permanent.  There are stepping stones, building blocks, and guiding lights to get you where you need to be.

The reality – and maybe a cynical reality – is that friendships have battery lives; and while some are chargeable, some aren’t.  You just have to figure out which ones are which.

Lifelong friends are effortless, it’s like they have solar panels or something, they recharge themselves and are built for longevity. But friendships can also be built with a battery life; they’re great for the time being, but at the end of their lifespan, you move on.

But don’t discount them at all.  Because just like I am forever grateful for the solar paneled roof over my head, I’m also eternally stoked that I got to play with a tamagotchi for a year of my pre-pubescent life.

People come in and out of your life for a reason, whatever that is, it’s up to you to decide.  It could be to help heal the wounds of a breakup, get you out of your comfort zone, or introduce you to a new side of the city you’ve never seen before. But just like your tamagotchi when you were a child, after a while, the batteries died and you found yourself surrounded by something newer, and more appropriate for your age and lifestyle.

But don’t ever forget what that tamagotchi helped you accomplish. You may not consult those friends or nurture the relationship anymore, but you damn well better be thankful for the time, effort, and value that it gave to you for the duration of the lifetime.

Because it’s foolish to think that all the people you’ll meet throughout your lifetime will be there until the end.  As you grow up, you learn to keep a select few in your inner circle, and accept that others will come and go as you start a new job, move to a new city, and begin a new life.

You may collect some lifelong friends along the way, there’s no doubt about that, but there will always be a new season, a new hire at the office, and a new space to fill in your life.  So fill it.

We can learn, grow, and change so much just by meeting and getting to know other people.  So while you may not know if the girl or boy sitting next to you is going to be your friend in fifteen years, enjoy your current phase of life with the people who are in it.  If they make it through, great, it not, remember what they taught you. Remember how you grew up. Remember how you changed as a result of being friends with them.

And be thankful for that.

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What do you think about ‘seasonal’ friendships? Have you ever had any? How have they helped you throughout the years?

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I’m On The Wrong Side of Twenty-Five

Chevvvvvvvs.

Chevvvvvvvs.

So, um.  Vacation is real, and it’s fucking awesome.  It also hurts like hell when it’s over.

But sound the alarms, hide all the children, bake every cake, cause I’m back and I’m chock full of noggin goodies and ready to write em down.

Mentally, I feel great. Physically, I’m a little worse for wear.  As you get older, you really start to recognize how many things you just can’t do anymore.  Along with wearing overalls and cheetah print scrunchies, I found out over the course of my week long hiatus that I can’t quite hang like a college kid and bounce back like I used to when I wasn’t twenty-five.

I woke up this morning and my eyes essentially refused to open, and walking in to work looking like you just toked up with Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg is never a good look.  #apologies

What I’ve learned this week is that I’m on the wrong side of twenty-five.  

And that really, really sucks.  Cause being on the right side is always more fun, I think.  Depending on how you look at fun, I guess.  Criminals and the like would probably disagree with me.  But then again, they’re in jail and I’m not… yet.

I may be young and able-bodied, but I am in no way, shape, or form, capable of doing beer olympics and not spending the entire following day curled  up in a ball watching reruns of CSI while having someone spoonfeed me macaroni and cheese covered in velveeta.

Listen to your bodies.  When you wake up on Sunday and you feel like crap, going outside and sitting in the sun without drinking water is not going to make you feel any better on Monday.  In fact, it will make you feel worse.

Exercise is always good.  Even when it’s not good, you’ll feel better after you’re done.  Or at least that’s what my mother tells me.  I always say the same thing about naps and chocolate.

If you have a good buzz going, cleaning your kitchen and/or entire house will be way more productive in the moment.  You will cover a lot of ground in a short amount of time.  Drunk minutes always seem to double regular minutes, but you may also wake up wondering why you slept in bed with a swiffer wet jet and why your dog is wearing rubber cleaning gloves.

Never forget to eat.  At twenty-five, this seems like it should be natural.  It’s not.  Sometimes you spend all day shooting the shit and catching up with old friends and wake up the next morning realizing your body survived a day of treacherous drinking on one egg and 8 pieces of cold bacon.  Set alarms, bring a buddy, or grow the hell up and remember to nourish yourself.

Strapless bathing suits are the devil.

Keep in touch with old friends.  Especially if you experienced something life changing together.  Friends like that don’t come into your life often, so cherish them.  Make a point to see them, keep in touch, and reunite as much as you can.  You’ll want to remember the time one of you passed out in a strange place and how many different locations you traveled to in order to reunite. (shameless plug)

And last but not least, it was confirmed that Ray Rice is a giant pile of douche bags.


What did you learn this week?

Cheers to you, to me, to you, and back to me again, and then you, and then me.

Irish or not, you know about St. Patrick’s Day.

Seeing as Monday is one of the most glorified drinking holidays on the planet, I figured I’d give you a little something to think about going into the weekend.  There’s going to be beer, there’s going to be drinking, there’s going to be parades, and most of all, there are going to be, “CHEERS!”

Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard them all, “To good friends! – To good times!” yadda, yadda, yadda.  BOOOORING.

If you stick with the run of the mill drink clinks, you’ll quickly run out of things to say and simultaneously raise your glass.  That’s why I’m here to help you.

The following is a list of things you can, “Cheers!” to this weekend in honor of Saint Patrick:

  • To money
  • To your bank account
  • To your parents, because without them you would not be alive and drinking today
  • To not falling down
  • To the Pilgrims and Indians getting along splendidly
  • To the military and the USA
  • To falling down and getting back up
  • To that kid not wearing green because “he isn’t Irish”
  • To that kid peeing on the sidewalk
  • To your friends because, “OH MY GAHHH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH”
  • To not using public restrooms
  • To finally getting to use the public restroom
  • To airplanes and automobiles that will bring you home
  • To candy hearts that express emotions so you don’t have to
  • To being single and not running into your ex
  • To not being single and running into your ex
  • To Tinder when there’s a surplus of hot drunk individuals in one concentrated area
  • To seeing eye dogs – because they’re the shit
  • To Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinski (he did not have sexual relations with that woman)
  • To not wearing heels
  • To bacon, eggs, and cheese, and bread.  So much bread.
  • To live music and uncomfortably swaying and calling it ‘dancing’
  • To Outkast reuniting
  • To free alcohol
  • To stealing alcohol
  • To making fast friends on the streets that you have absolutely no intention of ever talking to again
  • To sleep number beds for always knowing what you want
  • To McDonald’s for giving us the Happy Meal when you’re ordering over 18 years of age
  • To wearing sunglasses when it’s not sunny because you’re too hungover to be in public
  • To the one time of the year wear corn beef and cabbage is a fun thing to eat
  • To castles and royalty
  • TO POTATOES!
  • To infinity and beyond
  • To street meat
  • To Janet Jackson’s nip slip
  • To Leo DeCaps and Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On”
  • To finding out all your socks matching up after laundry
  • To cooking something that isn’t poisonous
  • To haircuts and looking so fresh and so clean, clean
  • To creating resolutions and breaking them
  • To giving up beer for Lent…… then taking it back because St. Patrick’s day is during Lent
  • To the world’s largest ball of yarn
  • TO POTATOES!
  • To tear-away Adidas sweats and white high top sneakers
  • To snap bracelets and snap backs and Snap, Crackle, Pop
  • To Ramen noodles and drinking like you’re in college again
  • To day drinking and passing out before 9pm
  • To having an excuse to drunk dial your mom and dad just to , “Say hey.”
  • To Ireland and the people from it who immigrated here because there were no potatoes, without whom we would not be the population of drunk people we are today, and we have to salute you the only way we know how, by getting drunk

Go forth, my sons, into the land of inebriation. 

Not one, but five #BFFs

I don’t think you learn just one thing from your best friends, but a multitude of things.

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It is impossible to put into words how important and instrumental these five women were in helping shape who I am today.  There is something about the longevity of our friendship that is perplexing – because normally, putting five girls in a room together would almost always result in a sacrifice, sabotage, or slander – but we’ve made it past the point of petty arguments and low blows.  We’ve survived, endured, and sustained.

I am lucky in the fact that I’ve had the same group of friends from third grade.  We are all still close. Our friendship has encompassed the majority of my life, spanning twelve or more years, and continues to, for a lack of a better word, mature.

They were all there when I felt like complete shit.  They all witnessed the most defining moments of my life.  The all have helped me change, grow, and flourish.

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Friends leave an imprint on your soul that no family member or significant other can replicate.  You become part of each other whether you want to or not.  I constantly find myself embodying little quirks that are only explained by going back to a mall, beach, high school party, concert, or a parking lot on my eighteenth birthday.

And then, there are just some things I do that cannot be explained by anyone or anything, and I don’t really know how to feel about it quite yet.

My friend Jocelyn is an acrobat and should be in the circus.  I mean this in the best way possible.  I swear to God this girl has more things on her plate than a professional eater.  Yet, she always makes it look effortless.  Her myriad of commitments span most of her weekdays, consume her weekends, and leave little time for sleep.  Yet she is always the first one to pick up the phone and call me – just because she has time.  She has taught me that there is a way to juggle all the things you need to have in life, and to do it with a good heart and good intentions.

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Then there is Sam, who has, for the entire time I’ve known her, taught me to never compromise on anything.  There is someone out there for you; it just may not be right now.  They are called standards for a reason, and if we didn’t have them, the world would be a bunch of monkeys dressed in suits trying to steal your banana on the way to work.  Go for the job you want, but start with the job you need.  Always have a goal that you want to achieve because it’s the only way you’ll better yourself.  Don’t change yourself for anyone or anything.

Katie is the most accomplished, and the one who has done everything first.  She has consistently shown what it means to be an independent, self-sufficient, and completely reliable woman.  Following your heart is a suggestion, using intuition is a requirement.  It is possible to be truly happy, healthy, and successful in your mid-twenties.  She is the perfect example of what it looks like to follow your heart, and still be able to live out your dreams.

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Megan is living proof that beauty and brains can coexist – and not in the superficial, compliment seeking way.  Staying grounded is the key to figuring out what you want in life, not just settling for what you can get. It’s a skill to fight through hardships, both familial and relational, and to do it with grace and sophistication.  Some people grow up too fast, but in some instances, it’s a blessing that allows you to understand loyalty, devotion, and selflessness.  Phrasing this in the best way that I can: I know that this girl would do some absolutely terrible things to keep her loved ones safe – and you cannot teach that.

Through all my terrible clothing choices, Julie has taught me how to find what works and make it your own.  It may not be the most fabulous shirt on the planet, but if you pair it with the right accessory, anything can look stunning.  Fashion intuition cannot be taught – and it’s something I do not take for granted in a friend.  You need someone to tell you when your slouchy boots make you look like a homeless Pocahontas, as well as someone to verify that scarves are acceptable and encouraged year round, and boot season is something to be cherished, worshiped, and never overlooked.

LlamaLoveAlways.

LlamaLoveAlways.

Sure, there people that I’ve known longer than these girls, but none of them have taught me anything remotely as valuable as them.  Five is always better than one.  I think math taught me that.  I’ve learned how to create my own style, live life to the fullest, never compromise, find balance within the chaos, and to fight for what you want.  These are lessons that are so simple, yet so many people go about their lives without ever truly learning them.

I want to personally thank Megan, Jocelyn, Sam, Katie, and Julie for growing up with me, dealing with me, molding me, helping me, and above all, being friends with me.  Without you, I would not be who I am today.

I love you betches.

Related:

  1. Friends | The Magic Black Book
  2. You want to see best friends against the world? | From One Crazy Life To Another
  3. Daily Prompt: BFFs | Journeyman
  4. Voices | Momma Said There’d Be Days Like This
  5. A Speck Of Green – Part 1(Looking for Dad) | The Jittery Goat
  6. Kith and kin | Perspectives on life, universe and everything
  7. Daily Prompt: BFFs | tnkerr-Writing Prompts and Practice
  8. things to learn | y