The hardest lesson we have to learn is that we won’t keep all the friendships we collect over the years.
But that also doesn’t make the friendships that fizzled out any less valuable. They may be gone, but they shouldn’t be forgotten.
At one point or another, you had a common bond, a need for each other, a desire to make one another better. You had the power, the will, and the right stuff that just fit at that time period.
Just like you’ll rarely stay at the same job for your entire career, friends are not necessarily meant to be permanent. There are stepping stones, building blocks, and guiding lights to get you where you need to be.
The reality – and maybe a cynical reality – is that friendships have battery lives; and while some are chargeable, some aren’t. You just have to figure out which ones are which.
Lifelong friends are effortless, it’s like they have solar panels or something, they recharge themselves and are built for longevity. But friendships can also be built with a battery life; they’re great for the time being, but at the end of their lifespan, you move on.
But don’t discount them at all. Because just like I am forever grateful for the solar paneled roof over my head, I’m also eternally stoked that I got to play with a tamagotchi for a year of my pre-pubescent life.
People come in and out of your life for a reason, whatever that is, it’s up to you to decide. It could be to help heal the wounds of a breakup, get you out of your comfort zone, or introduce you to a new side of the city you’ve never seen before. But just like your tamagotchi when you were a child, after a while, the batteries died and you found yourself surrounded by something newer, and more appropriate for your age and lifestyle.
But don’t ever forget what that tamagotchi helped you accomplish. You may not consult those friends or nurture the relationship anymore, but you damn well better be thankful for the time, effort, and value that it gave to you for the duration of the lifetime.
Because it’s foolish to think that all the people you’ll meet throughout your lifetime will be there until the end. As you grow up, you learn to keep a select few in your inner circle, and accept that others will come and go as you start a new job, move to a new city, and begin a new life.
You may collect some lifelong friends along the way, there’s no doubt about that, but there will always be a new season, a new hire at the office, and a new space to fill in your life. So fill it.
We can learn, grow, and change so much just by meeting and getting to know other people. So while you may not know if the girl or boy sitting next to you is going to be your friend in fifteen years, enjoy your current phase of life with the people who are in it. If they make it through, great, it not, remember what they taught you. Remember how you grew up. Remember how you changed as a result of being friends with them.
And be thankful for that.
Fantastic post, A welome new perspective.
Thank you!
i am so glad i read this! i struggle with this constantly and have even tried to rekindle old friendships that were great…but we are different people and don’t fit together anymore. so i shouldn’t feel bad.
So true! Cant ever replace the time they were in your life, but some people arent meant to last forever. Thansk for reading!
thanks for writing! i always love what you write 🙂
Nicely done!
Great post! Definitely broadens my view on friendship. Thanks
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it 🙂
Great post. When I was a kid, I had a new best friend every year–not because I have no loyalty 😉 but because people moved, classes changed, etc. Still, I remember every single childhood friend vividly. They totally shaped my young life.
I bet you learned a lot of about being a people person and making good first impressions!
This is a great lesson. Especially to remind people that there are new friendships that they could learn from available in new (and old) places. They just need to fill it!
Exactly, to quote that person who said, “Don’t be sad it’s over, be happy it happened.” or something, right?! Anyone?
This is so important. Especially as a college student, I’ve found myself losing touch with a lot of my high school friends. I realize now that a lot of them were there for a season of my life for a reason, whether it was to provide a homework buddy or a good laugh, and that that season has now passed, and that’s okay.
So true. Its a hard concept to grasp, especially because when youre in the midst of the friendship you cant really imagine it being any other way! Life is so weird.
I loved this post! Its so true and it could also fit with “boyfriends” as well, you live, you learn and you move on.. pushing forward… Great Write!
thank you! so true with all relationships, we can’t hold on to the ones that just aren’t great for us! thanks for reading.
meg