50 Thoughts I Have While Watching House Hunters

IT’S A GUEST POST, Y’ALL.  HOP ON THE VIRTUAL FRIEND WAGON AND SEE WHAT’S IN STORE TODAY.  

I’m not southern, in the slightest, but that just seemed to fit so wonderfully.  

Anyways, I am thrilled to announce to the interwebs that I have found someone who shares the same brain capacity as myself – I don’t know if that’s a compliment or not – and is obsessed with HGTV and all it’s DIY filled glory that normal humans (even those with Pinterest accounts) will never be able to achieve.

Take it away, Taylor!

Hi, my name is Taylor and I blog over at Pinstripes & Lipgloss. I’m not sure if Meg is still busy trying to find a purpose for the multitude of fruit that has graced her office or trying to open a stubborn box of wine, but today you’re stuck with me instead.

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Like Meg, I enjoy a good HGTV show now and then (“now and then” defined as “way too often for someone in their 20’s”). My favorite of HGTV’s offerings is House Hunters. A true classic, House Hunters always promises 30 minutes of houses I can’t afford, bad kitchen cabinetry, and people who will probably later regret that they ever agreed to be on television.

Today I’m going to share with you the thoughts I have when I watch House Hunters, because there is nothing more interesting than reading the thoughts of a random person you have just virtually met (except for organizing your sock drawer).

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… WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!

 

  1. They seem like a nice couple.

  2. Wait, they’re newlyweds? Oh, no. They’re the worst.

  3. Did she just mention starting a family? His face says that’s the first time she’s brought it up. Awkward.

  4. Well I guess they can use those five bedrooms for his jam sessions with his bros if the whole kid thing doesn’t work out.

  5. Their budget is $200k. In the middle of Miami? Good luck finding a cardboard box 20 miles from the beach.

  6. They also want a backyard that faces northeast, a kitchen with stainless steel appliances, AND a pool. I can’t even.

  7. Even the realtor knows this is ridiculous.

  8. This first house seems nice. I’d live there.

  9. The living room isn’t big enough for them? Are they wanting it to double as an indoor football arena?

  10. They like everything in the kitchen but the cabinetry…last time I checked, that’s removable.

  11. “Bob, I don’t know if we can live without a pool.” Wow can you say #firstworldproblems?

  12. This second house might be more promising. It has a pool.

  13. The paint color? Really? HAVE YOU EVER USED A PAINTBRUSH IT IS NOT THAT HARD

  14. It doesn’t have a fireplace because you didn’t ask your realtor for one. Your bad. You can’t have everything.

  15. Is it really necessary for both of you to stand in the shower and make sure you fit?

  16. Typical newlyweds.

  17. I’m uncomfortable.

  18. I’m almost more uncomfortable about the fact that she has that haircut and somehow she was married before me.

  19. The realtor just made this worse by laughing at his shower joke.

  20. Eew.

  21. If this closet were any bigger, I’d think they wanted to hide dead bodies or something.

  22. He’s wearing tube socks and khakis. He seems like the type that would.

  23. Do they let serial killers on this show? I suppose they’d have no way of knowing.

  24. Alright, house number three. Maybe this is going to be the one.

  25. She’s already complaining about the siding. Maybe not.

  26. Again, THE CARPET IS REPLACEABLE.

  27. eye roll

  28. sigh

  29. It’s a FIVE-minute walk to the beach…yes, you’re right. That’s much too far. How could you be expected to walk that far? You might have to stop and rest on the way there.

  30. Does the husband always wear the same shirt? Gross.

  31. Oh and there she goes with the baby comment again. He is visibly uncomfortable.

  32. Would their baby be tall or short? Hmm.

  33. The master bedroom looks “dated.” What does that even mean?

  34. Does your terrier NEED a large backyard? Have you asked him?

  35. I hate people.

  36. Now the kitchen appliances are too old. Apparently 2005 is too old.

  37. Get some real problems.

  38. Also, just be glad they’re stainless steel.

  39. For your budget, you’re just lucky this house has walls.

  40. Okay, now which one are they going to pick?

  41. None of them seemed like a good option.

  42. I think it’s going to be number one.

  43. Wait what? Number three??

  44. Aww look, they’re all moved in.

  45. Is that a baby bump she has?? No wait, that’s just a bad shirt choice.

  46. What were they thinking with the decor? Is this supposed to be “nursing home chic?”

  47. Ugh.

  48. I’m never watching this stupid show again.

  49. Never.

  50. Okay, fine. There’s nothing better on.

 ***

What show do you love to hate? Do you feel the same way about House Hunters that I do?

Thanks for letting me stop by today. If you enjoyed the sass, you can find more on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or at my blog.

 

 

The Friday Five: My Favorite Posts of the Week!

Each week, I list off my favorite posts from all the wonderful blogs I follow.  I mean, if I love you, why shouldn’t the rest of the world?  So, without further adieu, here are the posts that really got my attention this week!

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andreiandjanice: What is It that is In you, Rain?

Most people bitch and complain about the weather.  This was a refreshing take on life when it rains, and how it can be an enjoyable, therapeutic, romantic experience.

Mrs.Littlejohn: Reasons I will never be titled as “lady like”

She posted this in the comments last week and I loved it.  Honestly, we may be soulmates.  I am the FURTHEST thing from a lady.  It’s nice to know there are more of us out there 🙂

Falling From Grace: What Calling Miley Cyrus A Slut Does To All Women

Amen.  This girl knows how to be a feminist without punching you in the face with her boobs.

Tipsy Lit: Thank you for bringing me home to murder me slowly

Because I remember in fifth grade we had hermit crab races, little did I know, Mrs. Johnson was a murderer in training.  Thanks, internet!

Life of Polly: The Warm Up Girl

A very interesting and refreshing take on break-ups after long-term relationships.  Definitely worth a read!

BONUS: The Banana Crisis of 2014

Because when life gives you bananas instead of lemons, you’re like… umm, what the fuck.


Who likes badges?  Everyone, that’s who!  If I featured your post this week, or in any previous weeks, feel free to grab one of these bad boys and slap in on your blog so the world can know you’ve been baked with greatness by yours truly.

xoxo, Meg

big deal

What was your favorite post (by you or someone else) from this week?  Submit it in a comment and maybe I’ll feature my top five favorites next Friday!

The Friday Five: My Favorite Posts of the Week!

Each week, I list off my favorite posts from all the wonderful blogs I follow.  I mean, if I love you, why shouldn’t the rest of the world?  So, without further adieu, here are the posts that really got my attention this week!

 

Friday Favorites

Friday Favorites

 

Goodnight Already: THE MAGIC OF BIKES

Bikes are the bane of my existence, but this post was extremely heartwarming and gives the idea of an adventurous, tech-free childhood a chance.

Tales of a Charm City Chick: 30 Lessons

We like to write about all the lessons we’ve learned over the years.  But have we really learned them?

Cardwords: IN WHICH I DISCUSS FEMINISM WITH A MALE FAMILY MEMBER

Feminism!  But not the slap in your face feminism, subtle, objective, progressive thinking feminism is appreciated.

The Hungry Dog’s Lair: WHAT WILL YOU TELL YOUR DAUGHTER ABOUT HER BODY

Body image is so important. Not just for women, but this post is amazing.  Fathers are the shit.

Kieth Garrett Poetry: THE ICE CREAM MAN

Becuase if you don’t like ice cream, you’re not a real person. #LactoseIntolerant

BONUS: Apparently Beyonce Couldn’t Find Any Words That Rhyme With Elevator

I sneaky dislike Beyonce for no reason.  Probably because I’m jealous.


Who likes badges?  Everyone, that’s who!  If I featured your post this week, or in any previous weeks, feel free to grab one of these bad boys and slap in on your blog so the world can know you’ve been baked with greatness by yours truly.

xoxo, Meg

thehalfandhalfblog.com

BUTTON SWAG

What was your favorite post (by you or someone else) from this week?  Submit it in a comment and maybe I’ll feature my top five favorites next Friday!

GUEST POST: Racing Bananas Takes Over Half and Half!

Well, we are in for a special treat!  No pun intended, but kind of intended because I love snacks and she does too and that’s why I asked her to do this for me.

I like to eat, and figured everyone else does too, or else we’d all be dead, and then no one would be able to read my blogs (THE HORROR!) and my spanish teacher from tenth grade would be right in her assumption that I am not good at anything.

Anyways, enough about Senora Biatch, and more about food.  Hopefully you enjoy a little break from my nonsensical rambles, and enjoy something a little healthier for your mind and body.

Hi All! My name is Kim and I blog over at Racing Bananas, where I talk about my journey to live a healthy and active lifestyle. I stumbled upon Meg’s blog about a month ago and love it! Her posts are hilarious and witty and definitely keep me coming back wanting more! Today, Meg is letting me hijack her blog today to share with you some of my favorite go to snacks.

Kim Apple

My healthy living journey began during the Summer 2011 – I had reached my highest weight and was battling depression and self-image issues. With my dad and brother, I decided to change my eating habits and began exercising. I started doing the Atkins Diet, but soon realized that it was not sustainable for me. So paired with going to the gym and eating more healthy and in moderation, I have lost and maintained a 40 pounds over three years. It’s something that I am extremely proud of and strive to maintain. This can be pretty difficult, because I love chocolate. And ice cream. And pizza and cheeseburgers and French fries, and…well basically if it’s not good for you, I want it in my belly!

One way that I’m able to curb my “eat all the things!” mindset is by planning ahead. I’m a big snacker and need to eat every couple of hours (or I get hangry and scare my co-workers), so I usually make sure I stock the fridge and pantry with lots of healthy options that I can grab and eat during the day.

Some of my favorite combinations are:

Plain Greek Yogurt w/roasted pumpkin seeds or granola. I used to be a flavored Greek yogurt junkie until I saw how much sugar was in a container (as much as in a candy bar! Given the choice, I’ll take my sugar in chocolate form). It took a bit of getting used to, but I now really enjoy plain Greek yogurt and like to add in toasted pumpkin seeds or granola for a morning snack.

yogurt

Red Peppers and Hummus. I’m not the biggest proponent of eating raw veggies, mostly because I think they’re bland. Except for red peppers, which I love because they are tangy and red. They taste great with hummus too!

Tuna Salad in a lettuce wrap or whole wheat pita. I only recently decided I liked tuna, and now I make my own tuna salad at home by mixing canned tuna with laughing cow wedges. It’s tasty! I wrap this in a leaf of romaine lettuce and love to chow down.

tuna salad

Rice Cakes with peanut butter. I know rice cakes have a bad rap – they are literally the most boring food around. But I started slathering them with a tablespoon of peanut butter (and sometimes cinnamon and a cut up banana) and they are quite tasty. And filling!

Mashed Avocado on Toast. I love avocado everything. My go to is to half an avocado and mash it in a bowl and season with paprika and garlic powder and then put on toast. Try it. You’ll love it!

Smoothie. If I have smoothies, it’s usually in the morning because I work in an office and think my co-workers would think I was nuts if I started blending things in the middle of the day. But smoothies are a great post-work out (or anytime) snack that you can fill with fruits, protein, and fiber!

smoothie

With a bit of planning, you can have tasty snacks all day and not having to default to sugar filled granola bars (which I love #guiltypleasure) but couldn’t fill me up if they tried!


Thanks again to Meg for letting me take over today! Now I want to hear from you! What is your favorite go-to snack?

 

The Friday Five: My Favorite Posts of the Week

Each week, I list off my favorite posts from all the wonderful blogs I follow.  I mean, if I love you, why shouldn’t the rest of the world?  So, without further adieu, here are the posts that really got my attention this week!

 

Friday Favorites

Friday Favorites

 

Single Girl Blogging: I Ain’t Sayin’ I’m a Gold Digger

 

Ned’s Blog: In the event of a Sharknado, find the nearest catfish noodler

This guy is hilarious.  Everyone should follow him.

Always Rebecca: Why ‘Nice Guys’ sometimes don’t get the girl

Love, love, love this.  Not that guys shouldn’t be nice, but there’s a reason why they always finish last.

Indecision May or May Not Be My Problem: Good Advice

Marriage advice exposed.  People that come to your wedding have some interesting things to say after a couple drinks.

kissmeoutofdesire: PART-TIME LOVER

Wonderful post about the difference between Friends with Benefits and an actual relationship.

BONUS: This Weekend, I Kicked Adversity Square In The Face.

Because when you struggle to open a bottle of wine, the key is perseverance, and more wine.


Who likes badges?  Everyone, that’s who!  If I featured your post this week, or in any previous weeks, feel free to grab one of these bad boys and slap in on your blog so the world can know you’ve been baked with greatness by yours truly.

xoxo, Meg

thehalfandhalfblog.com

BUTTON SWAG

What was your favorite post (by you or someone else) from this week?  Submit it in a comment and maybe I’ll feature my top five favorites next Friday!

It’s A Blog Hop! Welcome To The Inner Workings Of My Cerebral Cortex.

Because why wouldn't you listen to me?  I'M HALF COW.

Because why wouldn’t you listen to me? I’M HALF COW.

It’s like a sock hop, only there’s no dancing and the internet doesn’t have a floor or a school gymnasium. So wear whatever shoes you want, and hey, spike that punch, I’M THIRSTY.

And that title was just a bomb ass excuse to use the phrase ‘cerebral cortex’ in a sentence, because frankly, I don’t really know what it is and I’ve always just jumped at the chance to make myself sound smarter than I really am.

(Read about what a blog hop really is here)

Anyways, Shane over at Virtual Napkins emailed and asked me if I wanted to participate, and I immediately said yes because I am short on friends and anyone that asks me to hang out will probably get a big, fat, resounding YES.

You can read about Shane’s process here.

I’d like to thank Shane for asking me to participate, and apologize to everyone who has to read this and realize that there really is no rhyme or reason to my thinking, and eventually come to the conclusion that I may be certifiably insane and hopelessly addicted to wine.

HERE WE GO!

What am I working on/ writing?

I’m not currently writing anything, unfortunately.  Well, anything of substance.  I freelance and contribute to various sites around the internet, but other than that, PUBLISHERS, FEEL FREE TO HOLLA AT ME.  In other words, I can be bought.

How does my work/writing differ from others in its genre?

In all honestly, I don’t think I am special.  Well, I do think I’m special, but that’s only because my mother told me I was.  But, really, I think I just have an honest and refreshing perspective on topics that have almost been beaten to the ground.  When I am passionate about something, I tend to articulate what I want to say very well.  And talking about the problems, scenarios, and triumphs of a poor girl working in a big city is my specialty.  Plus, self-deprecation and the ability to make light of the shit you did when you were younger is a huge part in not taking yourself seriously and making other people laugh.  Laughter is the universal language of fun, and when people have fun, they tend to give you things like money and slice and bake cookies.

Why do I write what I do?

I like to complain a lot – Twitter only allows 140 characters, and Facebook has too many feelings, so I just like to unload all my thoughts and pictures of when I was ugly here.  I write a lot of what goes on in my head, and try to make it as ornate and relatable as possible.  And if it’s not ornate or relatable, it’s because I’m weird. I’m not a unique person, in fact, I am pretty plain, so taking something that happened to me and being objective about it will most likely produce a relatable piece of work.  Emphasis on most likely.

How does my writing process work?

I take conversations and scenarios from my everyday life and embellish them beyond belief.  Writing from experience is a tried and true process for me.  I think of an idea and I just word vomit all over the page. When I’m done, I take five minutes, watch a couple Jimmy Fallon youtube vids, and go back and edit it to make sure it doesn’t sound like a baby alpaca just decided to spit all over the place.


Now, onto the next ones!  The following bloggers have agreed to carry the torch and let you know how they write what they do!

Grace over at Falling From Grace will be participating and you’re in for a treat.  This girl is hilarious, honest, and offers a unique take on life as a twenty-something.  Plus, she’s pretty much best friends with Queen Frostine from Candyland, and has a VIP access card to most buffets around the nation.

Jake from Routine Dreamer will also be participating and he’s just a gem.  Like maybe a rare gemstone like amethyst or quartz.  Are those even rare?  I don’t know.  But this kid has tons of insight on today’s world and it’s very refreshing.  Did I mention he uses proper grammar?  Yeah, check it out.


Do you have a writing process?

The Friday Five: My Favorite Posts Of The Week

Each week, I list off my favorite posts from all the wonderful blogs I follow.  I mean, if I love you, why shouldn’t the rest of the world?  So, without further adieu, here are the posts that really got my attention this week!

Friday Favorites

Friday Favorites

Meaghan McGoldrick: My mother hated tattoos, so naturally I got one for her

I love this girl.  She has such a similar sense of humor to me, and I always get excited when she posts something new.  This post really grabbed my attention because of my love for tattoos.  If you love them, and even if you don’t, you should read this because it’s heartwarming, funny, and witty all at the same time.

The Dating Diaries: Lessons Learned

Just stumble upon this blog recently, and I am so impressed.  I love the headstrong, realistic attitude of this post, and it’s an eye opener especially for how I am when I’m dating someone.

Ellroy Was Here: Fear And Loathing In The Third Stall

I hate public restrooms.  This was a funny post about rules, mostly unwritten, that are supposed to be followed.  People tend not to listen, and they tend to make a mess.  But if you learn anything from this post, please avoid the first stall at all costs.

Hand of Anake: A Simple Analogy, But I Think It Works

Love this attack on ignorance and the people using words in a derogatory manner.  He puts it in a simple analogy, and for anyone who hates to be tickled, you will immediately understand the connection to a slur and an unwanted attack.

The Dimwhit: What’s In A Name? Sometimes A Racial Slur

I just love this because whenever I’m at Starbucks I always think about the people who get their name spelled wrong on their cups.  It’s an interesting look at how a name can be interpreted by different people.

BONUS: I Got Lost In The Dating Pool

My not so expert advice on dating using an extended metaphor.  May be my favorite post I’ve written to date. (No pun intended)


Who likes badges?  Everyone, that’s who!  If I featured your post this week, or in any previous weeks, feel free to grab one of these bad boys and slap in on your blog so the world can know you’ve been baked with greatness by yours truly.

xoxo, Meg

thehalfandhalfblog.com

BUTTON SWAG

 

 

What was your favorite post (by you or someone else) from this week?  Submit it in a comment and maybe I’ll feature my top five favorites next Friday!

The Friday Five and A BIG THANK YOU.

Here are my five favorite posts from this week, and a BIG, HUGE, GIANT, MONSTER thank you to the 1000+ people who follow this blog!


Falling From Grace:  Admit it, you know when to break up with your best friend.

Grace is an awesome twenty-something writer that really captures the feelings and emotions of that decade.  This post illustrates that friendships, like relationships, are also temporary, and lets you know when it might be time to move on.

Candy Coated Cyanide: I’m not for the Bible, but I’m not exactly against it either. 

I tend to stray away from religious posts, but this one really grabbed my attention.  I don’t think of myself as a feminist, but the way this was written really made me question, in a good way, a lot of what I had learned in the past about religion and the bible, and that’s always a good thing!

Ah, The Country Life:  Don’t Question the Questionnaire

This post cracked me up and reminded me of a blog I wrote about all the lies I tell on a day to day basis.  The doctor’s office is already an extremely stressful room, but adding a redundant yearly questionnaire that constantly goes ignored is be enough to ruin anyone’s day.

Chaos + Words: Motherhood: Leave It Be

Ashley is an extremely talented writer (and fellow Tipsy member), and in this post, she showcases her ability to eloquently write about the controversial topic of motherhood.  Women are constantly asked when they are getting to that ‘next step’ in life, whether it be engagement, marriage, or kids, and she objectively argues for those who don’t see the necessity of taking that next step.

Red, White & Bitchy: Warning Shots

These girls are hilarious, first and foremost, but this post on body image really got my attention.  Taking a break from their normally sarcastic and humorous posts, they dive deeper into a girl’s need to be thinner and what she loses in the process.

Bonus: Half and Half: Had A Crappy Week?  Here’s How To Feel Better

A little self promotion never hurt nobody right?  This is one of my favorite posts — and since it’s Friday, maybe you can utilize some of my brain tools to help you feel better about slaving away from 9-5 or however long you work.

***

And as if reading all these wonderful posts wasn’t enough to make my week, I found out on Tuesday that I crossed the bridge to over 1,000 followers!

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

Thank you so much to all of you for your support, comments, feedback, and likes.

I am so grateful that you all read what I have to say, comment on it, and enjoy it.  It makes this whole thing so much more fun!

I owe all of you seventeen virtual wine bottles, a tray of imaginary snacks, and forty stickers.  I just need all your addresses, a week alone, and a lot of prepaid envelopes.

Now, excuse me, I have a bottle of wine with my name on it ready to celebrate.  Cheers to all you beautiful people, and here’s to the next one thousand!

(I hope.)

xoxo, Meg

In the spirit of thank yous, submit your favorite post (by you or someone else) from this week it in a comment and I’ll feature my top five next Friday!

The Friday Five: My Favorite Posts of the Week

Each week, I’ll be listing off my favorites from all the wonderful blogs I follow.  I mean, if I love you, why shouldn’t the rest of the world?  So, without further adieu, here are the posts that really got my attention this week!

Friday Favorites

Friday Favorites

Pinstripes and Lipgloss:  How To Handle Being the “Other Woman” In Your Boyfriend’s Bromance

Taylor of P&L (just created that little abbreev right there, sorry Taylor!) writes a great post about dealing with your boyfriends’ bromancing ways, and how to keep a great balance between relationships and friendships.

Something on being a twenty-something:  Disregarding the notion of virginity

This post wonderfully explores the idea of virginity, and how ‘losing it’ doesn’t always have to be significant.

Routine Dreamer:  How Technology Ruins Social Interaction.

Loved this post on technology and how it has seriously influenced how people, for lack of a better word, communicate with each other in today’s social world.  Great read that really makes you think about how addicted you are to your phone, and how easy it is to hide behind a computer screen!

Tipsy Lit:  The Whisper Game

Nicole writes an extremely relatable post for anyone who has worked in the service industry on dealing with customers who value their time above, well, everyone elses.

Life As Jamie Writes It: Why girls love Instagram

I didn’t think people needed to know why girls love Instagram.  But they do. They really do. And Jamie does a great job at explaining it to the people who just don’t get it.

BONUS: Five Reasons with Meg Lago

Well, didn’t think I was going to do this little post without doing a little shameless self-promotion?  Oh, you did?  Well, sorry I’m not sorry.  Read this little post I wrote as my alcoholic nerd alter-ego over at Tipsy Lit.


Do you have a favorite post from this week?  Submit it in a comment and maybe I’ll feature it next Friday!

https://thehalfandhalfblog.com/press/

ATTENTION: Here’s What The Tabloids Are Saying

newspaper-clipart-2

No press is bad press, right?

I’ve been doing some research and on most famous websites, they have a tab appropriately titled, “Press” where a visitor will click to see what the media has said about their work.

I didn’t want to be left out of the loop, so I reached out to a few of my besties asking for comments and statements about my writing so I can fill out my Press tab, and ultimately skyrocket myself to stardom.

If you’re wondering if any of these statements were fabricated, the answer is: How dare you doubt my connections with Justin Timberlake and Chuck Norris! No, they are not made up.

Oprah really dubbed me the next Plato, and NSync really did write that song about me.

I’m sorry to all those teenage girls who thought they were special and assumed it was written about them; you weren’t and Lance Bass is still gay.

If you’d be so inclined, hop on over to my brand, spankin’, new Press tab, and let me know what you think!  

… please click that link…

SIDENOTE: If anyone would like me to drum up a quote for a personal Press tab on their blog, please let me know, I am more than willing to give glowing, over-embellished reviews, statements, and comments, especially if I can include profanity and my affinity for BBQ sauce. 

 

If you were to write a press release about your blog, what would people say?