Elite Daily has smiled upon me and has deemed me worthy of being published for a second time.
Clearly my Masters degree in secondary education is being put to good use.
Please check out the link below to see what I have to say about being perpetually single, and why it doesn’t suck.
I just have one thing to say to Valentines Day.
Stop making everyone so cynical.
There are a myriad of scenarios. You feel crappy cause you aren’t celebrating with anyone. When you do have someone you’re annoyed because he or she isn’t happy with what you planned. If you’re the awful person who isn’t happy with what your boyfriend or girlfriend planned, I hate you.
If you are one of the people who has a ‘special someone’ to share this blessed day in February with, for the love of God, do not nitpick. There is nothing worse than waking up and realizing you have a hundred things to do, and only ten minutes to get them done.
Men wake up and feel like this every. single. day.
If it’s not in their direct line of sight, they won’t see it. If it isn’t playing through their headphones, they won’t hear it. If they are not hungry, they will not think to ask if you are. If you didn’t tell them about it that hour, they won’t remember it.
Stop putting pressure on one night. Do not complain that your dinner wasn’t at the restaurant you two had your first kiss, date, or vegetarian option. Thank the high heavens that he is a good enough sweet talker to get you into the damn place, enjoy your steak and wine, and maybe even each other’s company.
The fact that he even remembered today was a holiday is a miracle in itself. Men don’t walk down the card aisle and accidentally get time warped for three hours. Only women do that. Men see that aisle, cower in fear, and stick their arm out to grab the first one they reach, praying it is at least funny or sentimental.
It is simple: we are wired differently. Men are linear beings, while women are curved seven ways to Sunday and then bent in half. Learn this; you will understand why men don’t do things on a woman’s timeline.
If you are one of the (un)lucky people who does not have a sig-oth (significant other for those abbreviatedly challenged) to hang out with, there are also a ton of things you can do to avoid looking, feeling, and acting like a complete moron.
Please do not allow yourself to sit at home on your couch, wallowing in self-pity, crying into a pint of ice cream because you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend to help you achieve pink hearted bliss.
Get your lazy ass off the couch and go to a speed dating convention, download Tinder, walk down the street, or go to a bar. Any of these things will likely result in the meeting of someone remotely interesting. Because if you’re choosing to sit at home feeling sorry for yourself due to your relationship status, you have bigger fish to fry and those fish involve a heavy dose of medication and a relaxing seat in a psychiatrist’s office.
When the clock strikes midnight, it is no longer Valentine’s Day, so suck it up. I’ve had sandwiches that have lasted more than twenty-four hours. In the timeline of life, it’s not a big deal to miss out on one day. Put on a nice outfit, look good, and go dance your face off with all the other people at the misery commiseration gala at Ruby Tuesdays.
The world will not stop turning if you don’t have a date. Time will not stop ticking if you can’t get a reservation at your favorite restaurant. Chaos will not ensue if you decide you’d rather go out with your friends and dance the night away — okay, chaos may ensue.
Regardless of your relationship status, Valentine’s Day should not determine how you feel about yourself. If anything, it’s a perfect excuse to cheat on your diet, eat seven chocolate bars, and crush a bottle of wine without apologizing to anyone.
Because I’ll tell you this much, if you do that on any other day of the year, you’ll have to hand-write at least six apology notes, and you won’t feel great about it.
I don’t think you learn just one thing from your best friends, but a multitude of things.
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It is impossible to put into words how important and instrumental these five women were in helping shape who I am today. There is something about the longevity of our friendship that is perplexing – because normally, putting five girls in a room together would almost always result in a sacrifice, sabotage, or slander – but we’ve made it past the point of petty arguments and low blows. We’ve survived, endured, and sustained.
I am lucky in the fact that I’ve had the same group of friends from third grade. We are all still close. Our friendship has encompassed the majority of my life, spanning twelve or more years, and continues to, for a lack of a better word, mature.
They were all there when I felt like complete shit. They all witnessed the most defining moments of my life. The all have helped me change, grow, and flourish.
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Friends leave an imprint on your soul that no family member or significant other can replicate. You become part of each other whether you want to or not. I constantly find myself embodying little quirks that are only explained by going back to a mall, beach, high school party, concert, or a parking lot on my eighteenth birthday.
And then, there are just some things I do that cannot be explained by anyone or anything, and I don’t really know how to feel about it quite yet.
My friend Jocelyn is an acrobat and should be in the circus. I mean this in the best way possible. I swear to God this girl has more things on her plate than a professional eater. Yet, she always makes it look effortless. Her myriad of commitments span most of her weekdays, consume her weekends, and leave little time for sleep. Yet she is always the first one to pick up the phone and call me – just because she has time. She has taught me that there is a way to juggle all the things you need to have in life, and to do it with a good heart and good intentions.
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Then there is Sam, who has, for the entire time I’ve known her, taught me to never compromise on anything. There is someone out there for you; it just may not be right now. They are called standards for a reason, and if we didn’t have them, the world would be a bunch of monkeys dressed in suits trying to steal your banana on the way to work. Go for the job you want, but start with the job you need. Always have a goal that you want to achieve because it’s the only way you’ll better yourself. Don’t change yourself for anyone or anything.
Katie is the most accomplished, and the one who has done everything first. She has consistently shown what it means to be an independent, self-sufficient, and completely reliable woman. Following your heart is a suggestion, using intuition is a requirement. It is possible to be truly happy, healthy, and successful in your mid-twenties. She is the perfect example of what it looks like to follow your heart, and still be able to live out your dreams.
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Megan is living proof that beauty and brains can coexist – and not in the superficial, compliment seeking way. Staying grounded is the key to figuring out what you want in life, not just settling for what you can get. It’s a skill to fight through hardships, both familial and relational, and to do it with grace and sophistication. Some people grow up too fast, but in some instances, it’s a blessing that allows you to understand loyalty, devotion, and selflessness. Phrasing this in the best way that I can: I know that this girl would do some absolutely terrible things to keep her loved ones safe – and you cannot teach that.
Through all my terrible clothing choices, Julie has taught me how to find what works and make it your own. It may not be the most fabulous shirt on the planet, but if you pair it with the right accessory, anything can look stunning. Fashion intuition cannot be taught – and it’s something I do not take for granted in a friend. You need someone to tell you when your slouchy boots make you look like a homeless Pocahontas, as well as someone to verify that scarves are acceptable and encouraged year round, and boot season is something to be cherished, worshiped, and never overlooked.
LlamaLoveAlways.
Sure, there people that I’ve known longer than these girls, but none of them have taught me anything remotely as valuable as them. Five is always better than one. I think math taught me that. I’ve learned how to create my own style, live life to the fullest, never compromise, find balance within the chaos, and to fight for what you want. These are lessons that are so simple, yet so many people go about their lives without ever truly learning them.
I want to personally thank Megan, Jocelyn, Sam, Katie, and Julie for growing up with me, dealing with me, molding me, helping me, and above all, being friends with me. Without you, I would not be who I am today.
I love you betches.
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Related:
There aren’t many situations I encounter where I am in the minority.
I am at that stage of life where I guess I am supposed to start making commitments that will last longer than a bout of healthy eating or an attempt at keeping up with a gym membership.
But I am a late bloomer in more than one sense. My body, face, and fashion sense absolutely took its precious time developing during adolescence and into early adulthood.
I am also not in any way, shape, or form ready to make choices regarding life-long commitments like many of my friends, coworkers, and family members.
This is where I find myself on the wrong side of the fence. On the outside looking in.
I am at a point in my life where I am just figuring out how to support myself, cook food that is not poisonous, and make choices that won’t significantly impact how my skin looks after I turn 35 (yes, mom, I am using sunscreen).
I cannot imagine committing the rest of my life to someone. I could accidentally poison them, and I am not ready for those repercussions.
I can’t even figure out how to stop drinking after one glass of wine. How am I supposed to talk finances and and mortgage rates when I have ten dollars in my pocket and all I can think about is how many 3$ wine bottles I can buy at Trader Joes?
Objectively speaking, I am just not ready for it. That is not to say that I am against people who have found that person with whom they want to spend the rest of their lives.
I saw my best friend get married at twenty-three this past May, and it was amazing. When you witness unconditional love, it is truly a magical experience.
But people are wired differently. If we were all the same at every point in life, our existence would be stable, predictable, and utterly mundane. The idea that you don’t know what is coming next is fascinating, exciting, and makes life worth living.
I hear a lot of people complain that they are the only single one in their group of friends, like it is a curse, disease, or something to be discouraged.
We should stop associating the word ‘single’ with negative ideals. It is not a deplorable state of being in which we are forced to constantly fight and claw our way out, knowing that a human counterpart is the sole way to reach complete happiness.
Being single is an opportunity and an advantage not afforded to everyone. It is a chance to take risks, like moving into an apartment with three complete strangers off Craigslist. Or a time to find out what you genuinely enjoy doing, like writing about how ugly you were in middle school or your complete inability to adhere to social cues.
DAD?
It’s a waste of time, energy, and your face before it wrinkles to worry about not having a significant other. Take advantage of the fact that you don’t have to answer to anyone and do the craziest things while you still can.
Ride a horse in South America with a cape and a margarita.
Because who wouldn’t want to live out an inter-continental alcoholic equestrian superhero fantasy?
Dress up like a Christmas tree with your friends and pretend every other topiary structure is your relative.
Because…. why not?
When you’re older, I promise it will be way more fun to think about when you and your friends held hands and prayed with three strange men in the middle of Boylston street during the Red Sox victory parade.
yes, that actually happened.
It won’t be so fun to think about how many things you missed out on because you were too busy wishing you had a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Take heart in the fact that you can have just as much, if not more fun with your friends and family while you’re single.
Embrace each opportunity and event and treat it like it will be the last time you’ll ever live through it.
Because the next time you are on Boylston Street after the Red Sox win the world series, you may not be with your best friends, but with your boyfriend, and he sure as hell won’t allow you to hold hands and say a prayer with strange men in the street.
Think about it.
Half and Half 