Step Brothers Might Be Getting A Sequel So Here Are 4 More Movies That Should Follow

We’re going to the Catalina Fucking Wine Mixer!

Everyone get out your eyeballs, your most expandable pants and all of the alcohol you can fit into the crevices of your body because Step Brothers may be getting a sequel.

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[Insert comment about The Princess Diaries 3 getting a trilogy and me not mentioning it.]

[Insert rebuttal comment about how Anne Hathaway is my nemesis and I don’t like her face.]

Honestly, I was a bit hesitant to hear that one of my top five movies was getting the reboot treatment. If it’s anything like Ghosts of Sequels Past, it’s not going to be good. I mean, the odds are pretty much stacked against them.

Over here in the graveyard of “What The Fuck, Why Did You Ruin This Classic?” we have Anchorman 2, The Hangover 2/3, 22 Jump Street and an atrocity so horrible, I saved my eyeballs the equivalent to the plight of a thousand sandstorms,  Zoolander 2.

This is like becoming a thing now, though, right? Script writers today are basically just those dudes that leave to try and find a better hookup but come back to the bar at 2:30am and will hit on someone until they agree to go home with you (for the right price of about 30 million dollars, six red wines, and a trailer full of ONLY the green M&Ms).

I know, I know, but this one will be different. It’s 2016 and my new year’s resolution was to be positive. Or at least have better posture. I can’t remember, I’m slouching.

In hopes that Hollywood doesn’t totally screw this one up, here’s a list of four other Will Ferrell movies that could use a (good) reboot.

 

ELF

Need to see Buddy take on the country with the sole plot line being saving Mr. Narwhal from captivity. I like whales and I like them to be free. You go, Mr. Narwhal, you go.

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OLD SCHOOL

The only reason my dedication to ribbon dancing was validated was because of the majestic display of athleticism that Frank the Tank displayed in this movie. Plus, I honestly believe Blue was my boy and I need someone to avenge him.

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WEDDING CRASHERS

I feel like they forgot to mention Rule No. 88 – Make thy sequels whenst they are demanded. And someone give him some goddamn meatloaf for Pete’s sake.

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THE OTHER GUYS

I need this more because of Mark Walhberg and his abdominals, but also because Gator needs his Gat. But not immediately because Eva Mendez is a genetically impossible human that sometimes I just feel bad about myself.

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What movies would you like to see get a sequel?

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Will I Ever Love Anything As Much As My Boyfriend Loves Sports?

There are some relationships that are, for lack of a better term, enviable.

You know, the ones fueled by passion, commitment, humor and above all, trust. The ones that, at the end of the day, regardless of how much they fight, you know they’ll make up and be alright and continue to support each other.

This is how my boyfriend feels about sports.

Let’s just be clear, I definitely do not hate sports. I’ll sit and watch whatever ball is on television as long as there are a reasonable amount of snacks and alcohol in front of me.

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But there’s something seeing someone constantly have another person on their mind, wondering what they’re doing, checking their status updates and talking to his friends about what they’re doing next.

Because he knows how important investing into a relationship is and he’s proud to show off those who he supports.

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You know, the way he just KNOWS everything about every single player on the field, can recite their college teams, even high schools, without even looking up to the left to recall the memory.

Because he cares about them that much to know that to truly appreciate someone, you have to know where they came from.

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I see the passion he has for his fantasy football team, caring deeply about their injuries, yelling at them incessantly for missing catchable balls, touchdowns, and field goal opportunities.

Because he honestly sees their potential and he knows they can do better.

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It doesn’t matter where he is financially, he’s ready to double down and spend money when he may not exactly have a lot of it. He’s committed to being there every step of the way, from making it to the small games all the way up to the biggest of stages.

Because he knows he can trust them to show him a good time, even if his expectations don’t always match his reality.

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To know what it’s like to hate someone so much, swear to never come back to them again, but your bond, your loyalty is so strong, that you’re right back on the couch the next day watching that same team that ruined your life the night before.

Because he’s loyal and he’ll be there through the ups and downs. No matter what.

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Now, that’s love.

Do I ever think I’ll love something more than my boyfriend loves sports?

To be honest, I think the answer is no.


What do you think? Do boys love sports more than anything else?

It’s Time For A MAKEOVER!

What?  Something’s weird.

So by now, you may have realized things look a little different around here. But it’s just like when you lose weight.  It’s the same body, just a new look.

I realized when I first started this blog back in December, I was very hasty — much like with everything else I do — and didn’t think everything through before making decisions about the site.  So now, I have to correct those mistakes.

After spending some time writing this, being introduced to communities, and learning what successful blogs look like, I realized I needed to make some changes.  I needed a new name, one that reflected the theme of my blog, and that’s something I didn’t have with Twenty-Four Problems.

There are a slew of twenty-something blogs out there, and they pretty much kill it.  While I do fit into that age range, I want to distinguish myself from them, and to do that I have changed the name of my blog to something I feel is way more fitting, unique, and applicable to the stuff I actually write about.

So, without further adieu, welcome to Half Wit, Half Wisdom, or in other words, Half and Half.

I hope that the name change doesn’t send you into a metaphorical tailspin.  I hope you will all still be my friend. I am looking forward to the future with this name, and truly feel I can grow as a writer in this community far better with this, and hope you all join me on the road to… wherever I go.

The new URL will be: thehalfandhalfblog.com – save it, like a lifeguard. 

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you can tell by the header, this is going to be a serious change.

Leave a comment below letting me know what you think!