The Ten Best Things People Googled To Get To This Blog

Google is a weird place.  So are brains.  Here are the ten best things people have googled that led them to this blog:

1. When someone eats all my food

I’ve been trying to figure this out my entire life.  Google can’t help you buddy, having a stomach that is a bottomless pit is a gift and a burden, you just gotta deal with it and go for that second family size bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.  Trust me, you’ll thank me later.

2. Chipotle sucks

This makes sense, seeing as we were at war not too long ago.  But I have since pledged my allegiance to the burrito men of Chipotle and have safely secured my spot back on the wagon of love.  Now, I must go get me a burrito bowl, I’M HUNGRY.

3. Deformed toes

Probably could have used google image search for this one.  I am also extremely sorry for your deformity, I can relate.  I have one too.

4. “Nice goggles, eh?”

Yes, they are very nice.  I got them on sale.

5. Christina Aguilera is half white half what?

It doesn’t matter.  She’s still waiting on when her reflection will show who she is inside.  #Mulan

6. But what’s different about Wednesday?

I’ll tell you what’s different, the goddamn spelling.  Ever try teaching a kid how to spell Wednesday and also explain why there is a phantom N just chillin’ in the middle of the word?  It doesn’t make sense.  You suck, Wednesday.

7. Justin Timberlake frosted tips

So much yes.  You don’t need google for this one, here you go:

drool.
drool.

 

8. 3rd grade girls playing

I don’t want to know who googled this or what the purpose was.  I’m terrified.

9. Justin Beiber & Selena

Power couple. Scorned lovers.  Epic romance.  Horrible tattoos.  I’m also still trying to figure out what it is exactly that Selena Gomez does.

10. Girlfriend not texting back

You got bigger fish to fry if you’re asking google why she won’t text you back.  Starting with a real human being would be my suggestion, but hey, it worked in that movie, Her, it could work for you.

 

What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever googled?

Advertisements

10 comments

  1. So, one technical question please—and you should know that my family’s nickname for me is Kelly Gullible, how do you know what people googled? I thought I read a WordPress article saying that Google has ‘hidden’ the search terms. I think it’s a Hummingbird thing.
    Also, this post should be Freshly Pressed, but they haven’t yet asked me to sit on the panel that meets in a secret location to decide such delicate matters 😉

Talk is cheap, but I'm on a budget anyway...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s