Today is monumental – I’m talking like “putting a man on the moon, civil rights, and end of the prohibition” caliber monumental. Today, the Girl Scouts of America have decided to join the rest of the universe in the twenty-first century and allow their precious cookies to be sold ONLINE.
Yup. Big time stuff right here. Tagalongs will literally be able to tag along with your wherever you go, because you won’t need to ration those boxes for two months.
I’m going to put my degree in English to relevant use right now and make psychological judgments about personality types based on your cookie preference. Choose wisely.
Please Note: I’m only doing the original flavors, because honestly, if you prefer a cookie named, “Thanks-A-Lot” over a Thin Mint, you deserved to be slapped and are probably eight years old and haven’t experienced nearly enough of what the world has to offer.
Go travel outside your hometown for like ten minutes, eat a Tagalong, and come back to me, bucko.
What does your favorite Girl Scout Cookie say about you?
Samoas: To be honest, you’re most likely pretty greedy and hard to please. If you’re someone who wants a myriad of toppings on one cookie, you’re also probably someone who has fourteen of the same red sweater and justifies the purchase because one has smaller stripes than the others. It’s not all bad though, you’re eccentric, eclectic and see the big picture. You’re someone who can take a bunch of random things and make something great. You probably dress a little weird and might have people questioning if you are wearing hand-me-downs from the 70’s or just “chose to look like that.” But you’re a risk taker, where others will falter and are scared of a challenge, you’re not afraid to step up and take on something as weird as the pleasantly surprising, diabolical combination of caramel covered crackers and coconuts.
Thin Mints: You’re consistent. People know what to expect with you. and either fortunately or unfortunately, their perception won’t ever change. You will always be the party girl or the nerd, because that’s your reputation, and frankly, you always live up to it. You may be welcome at all holiday occasions, but only a select few know your true worth and value after you’ve spent some time in a freezer. (If you didn’t get that hint, thin mints taste great frozen, I’m not in any way suggesting you should freeze yourself in order for people to like you.) Oh, and you probably own a pantsuit and look forward to the occasion where you get to actually wear it.
Trefoils: You’re probably a dog or a grandparent. No one likes shortbread unless you’re over 60 or walk on four legs.
Do-Si-Dos: You know what works and you stick to it, you rarely deviate from your comfort zone. You enjoy the simpler things in life, like peanut butter and oats, but don’t look down on people who get a little crazier. You prefer to be around others rather than being alone, which is why you prefer two cookies instead of just one, and you feed off other people’s energy. You’re a people pleaser, and would do anything for those you love. Your wardrobe probably consists of a lot of solid colors (mostly earth tones) because you don’t usually like to stand out from the crowd, but do enjoy the spotlight from time to time.
Tagalongs: There is never a dull moment with you. Once someone thinks they have you figured out, you go and surprise them by having your insides stuffed with peanut butter. You’re the life of the party, everyone wants you to join in on the fun. You’re sometimes unpredictable, and that can be bad, because your friends really never know how you’re going to act, and may have to give you lectures before fancy events or parties like being on your best behavior at your best friend’s wedding. You weren’t going to drink that much anyway, but it’s nice to know how your friends feel.
Half and Half 
Pass the Samoas
Someone is greedy…
I cop to being a Samoan. A Samoasan? Eccentric, etc. Nailed it!
Samoasans are so in right now.