24 Things I Irrationally Hate

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Irrational Hatred: An immediate dislike for someone or something that can’t be justified or has no reason behind it.  The main reason being that he/she/you/they/it ” just drives me insane.” 
  1. Kristen Stewart and the fact that she never makes eye contact or smiles.
  2. Starbucks employees who spell your name incorrectly, I’m on to you.
  3. The first stall in any public bathroom.
  4. Dave Matthews Band.
  5. Using the word literally when something isn’t actually happening at the moment.
  6. Teenage drama television shows where the central characters never have parents.
  7. Boys, because they don’t have to wear bras. (If you’re a boy that wears a bra, GOOD FOR YOU!)
  8. You, if you drive the speed limit.
  9. People that knowingly leave their shopping cart taking up entire parking space; you jackass.
  10. Girls who are able to apply makeup without making themselves look like a streetwalker that owns the corner of Harlot Avenue and Pay Me For This Boulevard.
  11. People who order salads at restaurants because they’re “watching their weight.”
  12. Tankinis… What are you?
  13. Odd numbers.  Get out of here.
  14. Horizontal stripes for being my favorite pattern but at the same time paradoxically making me look four times larger than I really am (or am I?)
  15. The weather being a universal and acceptable conversation topic.
  16. Upforkers – for obvious reasons.
  17. Crop circles. Farmers already have a tough life, let’s not make it worse, okay?
  18. Chipotle for promising me things and not delivering.
  19. Paying for things.
  20. The snack aisle vortex at the grocery store for having a magnetic pull on my weak soul leaving me with the inability to avoid purchasing birthday cake oreos.
  21. Hiding tampons in your sleeves, shirts, pants, ears, and pockets because even as an adult for some reason it’s still weird to have people know it’s that time of the month.
  22. Cab drivers.  Oh wait, nope that one is rational.
  23. Diets and the people who can actually stick to them.  I’ll be over here on day two spoons deep in nutella and stuffing my face with marshmallows (see #20).
  24. Those elastic-waisted, maternity pants that are supposedly only for pregnant women.  Non-preggos have fat days, too.