Some people hate flying. I happen to love it.
And it’s not because you can get drunk above sea level. It’s not because I’m anticipating landing at my destination. It’s definitely not because of that one time the inflight radio played Hilary Duff’s Metamorphosis on repeat for six hours while I traveled to California from New York.
There have been heated debates as to which magazine is the best in all the land. And personally, I don’t even think it’s a close race.
Sure, People has celebrity gossip, and fashion advice from the professionals.
Cosmopolitan has those weird sex positions that make you want to renounce citizenship and become celibate before ever letting your partner near you while only wearing a chef hat and wielding a spatula.
But SkyMall has everything you didn’t know you needed all inside an 87 page magazine.
Have you ever been washing your hands and thought about how your phone was about to die? SkyMall has the answer. Aside from the fact that your phone probably isn’t waterproof, and this may be a pretty risky purchase, you can rest assured that you will be the only one of your friends that can simultaneously dry their hands and charge their iPad.
Put all those history buffs in their place with this Jurassic-sized velociraptor statue. Fossil buffs and Pangea enthusiasts can spruce up their garden with this carnivorous lizard that will surely keep those pesky deer from eating your plants when you’re away.
Actually, it should be noted that the entire outdoor patio section is a MUST SEE. But keep your wallets locked up, or else you’ll end up spending money on an 8-foot-tall giant silverback gorilla statue and a BigFoot garden yeti sculpture to match your dinosaur collection.
I’m not even joking when I tell you the best present I’ve ever received was from SkyMall. I’d like to take this time to thank my aunt for purchasing me a glorious white noise machine that soothes my soul and puts me to sleep like a straight up boulder every night. I would be a thousand times more grumpy than I already am without it.
Not to mention, SkyMall is just adding fuel to my obsessive fire because they follow me on twitter. I’m not sure if it’s because they’re rewarding my supportive nature, or they’re just genuinely scared that I may off myself if I don’t get some sort of social recognition for my commitment to a travel magazine.
Hey, SkyMall, if you’re looking for models for your products, or need a potentially over enthusiastic person to write really amazing product descriptions, inquire within. I can absolutely help you out.
Who did it better? (Don’t answer that.)