They say no man is an island, but what if you were stranded on one?
I went camping this past summer for four days with one of my best friends. It was my first time being out in the elements, so I didn’t really know what to expect when weather that wasn’t sunny and 72 degrees happened.
Needless to say, I was an emotional wreck and did not handle sleeping in a tent in the rain very well.
We’ve all played the “What Would You Take To A Deserted Island” game. But after my experience with weather, tents, and bugs, I’ve decided there are more than a few essentials to surviving if I was ever to really be totally stranded.
Here are the five things I would ABSOLUTELY bring on my island with me:
1. A house
You best believe after sleeping in a tent for four days, I will do everything in my power to avoid being exposed. I’m bringing a goddamn house to my island. Four walls, a roof, and a bed with a real mattress will make my stay extra cushy. It’s my island, and I’ll do what I want!
2. A boyfriend
Either my real boyfriend, or if he won’t agree to it, Charlie Hunnam will do. Because I need someone to hang out with me and also want to protect me from all the wild animals that will be roaming the lands. Plus, he won’t ever have an excuse to flake on plans, cause I’ll be the only one he can spend time with (MUAHAHAHAHA). Just kidding, really, misery just loves company, and two people on an island is better than me alone with my thoughts… that would be scary.
3. Wine and snacks.
What is the point of having a house without electricity to power it up? I’m talking total comfort here. I want lights, television, and running water. I’ll bring Thomas Edison back from the dead if I have to, as long as I can see where I’m going when the sun goes down.
5. Mary Poppins’ Tote Bag
If you were asking yourself after items #1-4 how I was planning on getting all these things to my island, this is the answer. Shit get’s real small up in Mary P’s bag, and I am going to need to borrow/steal/keep it forever in order to caravan an entire home, a full-grown man, an electricity system, and a lifetime supply of wine onto my desolate vacation.
Honorable Mention: Wilson from Castaway
Just seems like an all around great dude. And when I’m inevitably fighting with my boyfriend for paying more attention to the wild animals than me, I’ll need someone who won’t sass me back to converse with in confidence.