Remember when you went to the auditorium during elementary school to watch the school band showcase assembly that showed how good a job they did learning how to play Hot Crossed Buns?

But you really didn’t pay attention because you couldn’t take your eyes off that one kid in the back row who clearly didn’t know how to read music and just wanted to play the trumpet to annoy his mother every night?

That’s exactly how I felt about watching Joe Biden during the State of the Union Address.

One word: Electric. 

Like, whether or not Obama has made mistakes during his two terms in office is unclear on my end. But there is one thing that is for sure, it is a win for everyone who doesn’t care or knows nothing about politics for Barry Ohhhh to have Joey Bides as his right hand man, because his facial expressions are so on point, he could lead a group of mimes into heaven.

Does that make sense? Can mimes take a joke? No? Let’s go with it anyways, it’s not like they can voice their opinion. #SeeWhatIDidThere

While some people may be skilled in the art of lip reading, I’m skilled in the art of pretending I can read minds. And that’s exactly what I did with Joe Biden while I wasn’t paying attention to anything the president was saying about the state of our unions or whatever it is he was talking about.

Here’s what Joe Biden was probably thinking about instead of the well-being of our country:

“I hope no one asks me to answer any questions.”

 “Does this face make me look like I have an underbite?”

“Crap. My shoes are too tight.”

“No one will see me texting ‘C U L8R BAE’ if I keep my phone under this table. Wait… Did someone just see me?”

 “Yeah, I told him to say that.”

“Oh, you heard that fart?”

“I hope there’s mac and cheese for dinner.”

“I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts, deedeeleedee…”

“Wait, are we not voting at this thing? I should put away my ballot.”

“Not a good time to take out my VP brochure. Noted.”

“Oh shit, should I be taking notes?”

“Clipboards make me look important.”

“Good job, good effort. Good job, good effort.”

“I’m going to stand up so he knows that I was listening the whole time. But, I wasn’t.”

 ***

What did you think of the State of the Union address?  Did you watch? How ridiculous is Joe Biden?