It’s Friday! I’m extremely impulsive.  So it’s about time to make a list of all the things I do before I think about the repercussions.

• Buy five new books before I’ve even finished the one I’m currently reading
• Decide to purchase flights across the country when I don’t know if I have time off from work
• Eat an entire cheeseburger that weighs the same amount as a newborn baby
• Drink an entire bottle of wine, and then another one
• Make a crock pot meal and double the ingredients because I think I’m Martha Stewart
• See how far I can go on empty before filling up my gas tank
• Get all the supplies to do a Pinterested “DIY” craft and never attempt to do it
• Sign up for the gym with no intentions of ever going
• Sign up for a marathon with no intentions of actually running
• Eat an entire can of BBQ Pringles hoping I won’t feel like a lardo
• Consuming copious amounts of cheese, ice cream, milk, and yogurt knowing full well that I am lactose intolerant
• Making drastic lifestyle changes because I had one bad day
• Giving up drinking on the weekdays for Lent — WHY?
• Swipe my credit card and “worry about it later”
• Go on a blind date with a guy that turns out to be three feet tall and extremely clingy
• Try to win a burrito contest from Chipotle only to be blacklisted because of sheer dedication
• Avoid wearing a bra out in public only to realize I’d be out of the house for an entire eight hours
• Drink wine for dinner because it’s healthier than going spoons deep in chunky peanut butter
• Go out in public without make up only to bump into the only person you don’t want to see in public without make up
• Drink beer for breakfast
• Signing receipts with my twitter handle before realizing I’m a jackass
• Not exercise
• Watch an entire day’s marathon of Gangland only to be scared to walk outside my house for fear for my life
• Watch an entire day’s marathon of CSI only to be even more terrified to walk outside my house for fear of my life
• Choose to watch Titanic refusing to watch past the iceberg scene in respect to Leo DeCaps and in disdain of fat Rose taking up the entire goddamn floating double door
• Knowing I’m due for a good cry and choosing to watch A Walk To Remember on a Saturday night before I go out
• Pretending I know what I’m talking about then unintentionally getting wrapped up in a conversation full of lies and deceit
• Going to the doctor to get my ears checked out and having it turn into a full fledged interrogation of my medical history — it’s just an ear lady, LAY OFF ME.
• Deciding that after a week of drinking, it seems like a good time to check how much I weigh — IT’S NOT
• Going outside without a jacket on because it’s not that cold out — when the only way I tell the temperature is by looking out my windows into the alley with no sunlight
• Not checking the weather before I walk to work because I think I am an amature meteorologist
• Looking at pictures of myself from middle school knowing that I thought I honestly looked really fly in my tearaway Addias sweat pants, Aeropostale polo shirt, a curly bun, and my grandmother’s dangly earrings
• Starting this list and then realizing it’s dumb