I Should Probably Lower My Expectations…

One time I was super excited to meet up with this kid from Tinder (hint #1 this didn’t go as planned).  Then when I showed up he was already at the bar on his second drink (hint #2).  I recognize his face and immediately realize that I am taller than him sitting down (hint #3).

He proceeded to spend the entire date talking about himself while intermittently sprinkling in hints about how women should learn to cook before anything else.

I told him I can’t even make toast without setting off my smoke alarm, went to the bathroom and never returned.  Needless to say, it didn’t go as planned, and it definitely didn’t work out.

Much like this clip featuring my husband, Joey GorLevs, life is chock full of moments like being excited for a date and not having it turn out the way you wanted.

But regardless of how important our day-to-day adventures may or may not be, we place an expectation on how they should go down, and unfortunately, the reality doesn’t always match up.

College Dorm Rooms

Expectation: If you’re like me and constantly relive your glory years by watching teen dramas like The CW’s Vampire Diaries and ABC Family’s Greek, you went in to college with the expectation that you were going to be living in a gorgeous, Pottery Barn inspired, pre-decorated master suite, complete with a queen sized bed, a bay window, and a roommate you totally got along with in all aspects of life.

Reality: You and your random roommate who happens to collect erasers and used buttons get to decorate your spacious, cement wall insulated 10×12 dorm room complete with single beds and old prison mattresses.  Don’t go too crazy!

Lean Cuisines

Expectation: That food photographer is straight out of the Annie Leibovitz Picture Academy. Making my broccoli and chicken bake meal practically jump off the box and into my mouth.  The cheesey goodness of my four-cheese pasta is making me salivate at the sight of it, almost leading me to commandeer the nearest microwave and use it on the spot.

Reality: This so called “meal” is barely a serving size and the broccoli is soggy.  There are two cubes of chicken and I can only taste one cheese in my four-cheese pasta.  It all tastes like disappointment and I’m walking, no calling for delivery from the nearest Dominos.

Birthdays

Expectation: It’s my birthday and I’ll cry if I want to! Everyone is here to celebrate ME, ME, ME, ME!  The guy I have a crush on is totally going to walk in, catch my eyeball, music will play as he waltzes towards me and we make out on the dance floor like the scene of a movie while all my friends clap behind me and rally in support of my birthday conquest.

Reality:  It’s 1030pm, you haven’t left your apartment because you’re too drunk.  You’re crying to your best friends because your left shoe doesn’t fit on your right foot and ultimately settling for chinese delivery and sleeping in your birthday dress.

 

 

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Talk is cheap, but I'm on a budget anyway...

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